Well people i just couldnt hold back anymore so many stories to tell, so much water has passed under the bridge. Many a train ticket passed threw a ticket machine, Hundreds of lost souls wandering around the train station looking for the right platform to board their train for home or to work. Me just hanging there waisting time as i do not wanting to rush myself incase i bring on a panic attack fall over or wet myself as ive done so i sit and wait. Ok traffic in the station has calmed down now, three hours has passed im doing fine i have moved about six feet closer to the exit, then im outside to deal with the real world. Five hours have past with the exit clearly in my vision just steps away i check my watch, shit about thirteen minutes till my return train ride home. Oh well tomorrows another day my Psychologist is over the moon that i tried and that i made it that far, im pissed off it cost me a $7.20 and i never made it to the exit gates. Another day on the transit system and im off to (school) my class starts at 7pm , a easy task for your average person. But the old PTSD just seems to get in their and f--- things up so my wife spends the best part of a hour working out a plan for me with as to what train,bus to catch to and from school. Its goes some thing like this first bus i have to catch is at 440pm that takes me to the train station catch the 521pm train to the city then the 630pm bus to within a 5minute walk to the school fabulous PTSD or not its a hell of a ride. So i arrive at school ten minutes early great i have time to have a smoke calm down get into the room before anybody else turns up and settle down. I have a quick chat to the teacher whom i have meet before she was my teacher in the psych hospital i was in earlier this year so that part was easier. The 7pm start time came quickly all students seated shit i was the only male in the class, the lady next to me keeps looking at me, what have i done did i forget to wipe my nose. She knows my name this scares me, my heart rate goes up and down my speech starts to stutter i try to calm myself down its not working, panic attack on its way. My teacher sees my troubles and breaks the class for a coffee its then the lady sitting next to me offers to help me. Rob come outside and talk about it, shit you sound like one of the nurses from the hospital ? AH penny drops she was a nurse from the psych hospital, looked different out of uniform. By now all the other students are wondering whats going on with me and teacher and the other student oh the gossip, one by one they all come over to see if im doing ok, i think its the first time any of them have seen a 6`1" 125kg bloke have a panic attack in the middle of a class room. Any way easiest thing to do was for my teacher to tell my fellow students that i do have a mental disorder and i have spent time in a psych hospital blah blah all fixed now. So my class finished at 9pm as a good student i am i stayed to help clean up, i had to be at the bus stop at 930pm to catch the bus back to the city, bus arrived 935ish arrived in town 950pm and what time did my connecting train leave town you guessed it 950pm so i had to wait till the next train at 1050pm. Can you imagine how many drongos and deadbeats are hanging around the train station that time of night well their goes my anxiety levels again. Shit now i have to wait another hour for the next train what the f--- am i to do, ok dont worry, dont panic, dont think, ring the wife thats what i will do she can protect me over the phone. Holy shit that was a very long hour 1050pm finally came around 99% of the dickheads at the station boarded the same train as me shit this night only gets better,its a forty minute ride to the station where i connect to the bus that takes me on my final leg to my warm cosy home. We arrive at the station dark and cold my bones still ache from the panic attack earlier that night, theirs not a bus within in sight only drunken dickheads i have a few more smokes, my nerves are all but shot, by now a angel could tap me on the shoulder and i would die of fright. But whats this i see coming a bus i do not care which number bus im getting on the bugger just to get the hell out of here, it wasnt my bus but it was one that comes within a block of my house so i got my sorry arse butt on board and headed home. Well i made it home very worn out very tired and the time was 1150pm. That makes a round trip of 7hours and 10 minutes for a 2hrs lesson.