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On The Road To Colorado

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Nighthawk

MyPTSD Pro
Just wanted to say something about the power of sugestion. Over a year and a half ago my equine therapist planted a seed. The seed was for me to go to Colorodo and try a drier climate. She mentioned this idea to me several times based on the mountains and grounding.In the last few months during a really bad depression, she started mentioning it more often. Each time watering the seed. Not too long ago my levels of depression and desperation were in the darkest of places. She kept watering and then one day about two weeks ago the seed spouted. Within a matter of 48 hours a decision was made and then the trip planning begun.

So the trip begins, I am leaving tomorrow, I plan on taking it slow. Going to Austin TX for a night and then onto Big Spring TX for a night. Tuesday ill be in Sante Fe, NM for 6 nights. I will do my best to post often with the adventure Molly and I will be on.
 
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Having intence anxiety. Not an excited anxiety very much panicked and sweating. I am continuing to give my self positive self talk. It will be okay. Very stressed not sleeping well guess that has to do with the anticipation of leaving. I also have some medical issues causing me some anxiety.

I think the worry is in leaving but not in going if that makes any sence.

just keep breathing
 
It makes perfect sense to be on full alert. This is a sign to me that your 'hunter skills' are preparing for a journey where you need to be careful and alert. Your heightened awareness is a good thing when traveling and may actually calm down for periods as you accomplish so many steps. You are so adventurous ...too cool. I am jealous...lol.:hug:
 
Here's hoping your anxiety is just fleeting butterflies. The reality is that the vast majority of people are kind and helpful. I'm jealous!! I've never been to Texas and some of my favorite musicians live there. Plus, it's a Democratic majority!!!
I bummed around Europe for a year and it was so awesome. I just know you'll settle into the rythm of the road. That seed was planted, and now you can feel the growth. Have FUN!!!'
 
guess that has to do with the anticipation of leaving.
Yes, this absolutely makes sense to my Night. I have huge anxiety over leaving. I try to 'treat' myself and 'trick' myself by telling myself I am only going to get a coffee or something. I try to pack the car the day before so I don't have to go through the whole 'leaving process' and then hop into the car focusing on my treat. Doesn't always work, and not sure if it applies. Thinking of you....
 
Well the car is 85% packed. My goal is to be able to at least be able to see out the rear windshield. Tommorow before I leave the cooler will be packed.

Still woried about my mouth and that there is an ingfection. For all I know I broke a tooth and wasnt aware. If its still bad in NM I will make an appontment in Colorodo to see a dentist the day after I arrive.

Hence begins the adventure the goal to regnight life within. To hope for less pain. I am having a hard time hoping that this will work. ok So how crazy am I.
 
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