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Sufferer One introduction? hope i don't screw up. ptsd + fibromyalgia

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Buddey

New Here
Hi, my name is CJ and I was diagnosed with PTSD a few days ago. This is my second time hearing the diagnosis but the first time it was said to me with out any doubt. The same doctor threw out all of my old psychiatric diagnoses saying PTSD accounts for all my symptoms and that's the end to the debate.

This diagnosis hit me hard. I have known for a while of the clearly unique to PTSD symptoms I have but I have seen how it's portrayed in the media and I don't feel I can qualify if there are people suffering so much worse than I am.

And my suffering has been starting to alleviate some. I've been making slow progress. I also have fibromyalgia and the pain every day is horrific. apperently Fibro caused by PTSD isn't uncommon.

About me as a person. Everyone I know thinks I turned out to be a wonderful person. I do my best to help the communities I am in when I can and as much as I can. I am polite and look people in the eye a lot more than I am comfortable with, and I fake a smile and laugh when needed to make people I am around feel comfortable.

I had big dreams to be a psychiatrist or an artist one day and my world came crashing down on me as I went further into college. With 27 credits short of a psychology degree I had to take off for health and eventually drop out all together.
Most people empathize with my situation and try to do what they can. My mother though, (who I live with) has lost any sense of compassion or empathy she once had. She is so critical of me even though I try so hard. She rarely acknowledges if she is wrong in singular situations and I don't think she will ever see our broken relationship as a shared problem with guilty parties on both sides.

I pride myself on being fair, logical and like my ability to see many sides of a situation. There is no talking to her, no reasoning, no compromise. She's a big part in my struggle with my depression and suicidal ideation. I decided a while ago I will never kill myself so no need to worry.

I hope I did well and didn't break any rules. Nice to meet you all, CJ aka Buddey.
 
welcome @Buddey , glad you are here, and you will be too when you look around and read posts, and articles... we don't compare trauma here.... we all try to help each other with what ever is going on that day.... or what ever we are happy about... we have a few fun thread to share that too....
A world wide healing community..... who could ask for anything more !!!

You did great with your introduction... I was dissociated when I did mine... no telling what I said.... so , again.. welcome.
 
Hi, I'm only new too. They way you describe yourself is very similar to who I am too :) I also had to drop out of university, I was studying 'occupational therapy'. That sense of perceived failure put me into a downward spiral and things got worse from that point. I'm sorry you had to go through that. Not very many people truly understand how truly life shattering ptsd really is. I'm here if you ever want to chat. Xx
 
Welcome @Buddey

I don't remember if my intro made any sense or not... your's does.

I can relate to a lot of what you're saying. I turned out "well rounded" as well. Easily social and enjoyed being out with friends and laughing a lot. Now I'm a fantastic actress. Only 1 person knows me well enough to know the difference and even then, not always.

I've always had a heart for people and the desire to be involved in many activities.

I guess a lot has changed in the last few years. I've kept my diagnosis to myself as you're right. There is a lot of media focus on ptsd right now. - not positive. I just say I'm being treated for post trauma... for whatever reason, people don't connect that to ptsd. Even then I only say that if it's absolutely necessary. I don't want the stigma either. Here on the forum is the only real place that I feel safe to be me. There's no judgement and I'm believed and heard. That's crucial to healing.

I hope you'll browse the site a bit and feel free to share as much as you feel free to share. Lots of opportunities to encourage others as well. Hope to see you around.
 
I used to be way more active but year after year my symptoms got worse and worse psychologically even if physically I am in a bit less pain now. But for years while I was younger even though I was in an abusive home I did high school plays and spent a lot of times with friends. I am forcing myself back out there and trying to be that person again. I'm still well rounded just want to hide away more than is healthy. And I promise you will see me a lot. I made a promise to myself I'll be on everyday. If you ever want to read a happy post from me I did post one today. You guys have helped a lot. I totally agree with you about this website. I am very thankful for it. warning my post is huge so don't feel obligated to read it lol. ttys!
 
I'm really glad you're enjoying the forum. That's one of the main points. We all need to heard and supported. I look forward to reading your posts.
 
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