bec, I know you want to isolate. I remember feeling that and still do many times. I too want to just pick up and run. I can so much relate to the good-bad flash backs, the ones that leave you feeling sick, disgusted, and stupid at the same time. Perhaps I am overidentifying, but somehow, I don't think so. I can feel you. Its like you are really alone, facing the trauma, the deep and arduous hole alone. Oh bec, I suffer too. I may not be by your side in person but I am with you in spirit. It si Ok to be mad! Put some steel toed boots on and kick the living shit out of something, a tree, a park bench, what ever you can find. Yell at those images you see, tell them to go back to HELL where they came from and leave you alone!!!! I see a shadowey figure that tries to get inside me and I a single silver fly falling from the ceiling or sky like it was just swatted but it can see me. I am with you bec. You are a very special person, please do not ever quit. I'd miss the living hell out of you! You are REAL girlfriend!!!!!!! YOU ARE REAL!!!!!! Hang in there and if ya need anything, and I freakin' mean anything YOU GIVE ME A HOLLER!!!!! I mean that now! No fakey fakey hushy kushy shit. I'm the real thing. I'm nuttier than a shit house rat, but D-MN IT! I'm the real thing! A fellow struggler on the rocky road of life with PTSD. Yes, I'm a JESUS freak and I will be a prayin' for some peace for ya, along with myself. I love you bec! LOVE & CARE Your Friend and Fellow Struggler Marilyn S.