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Over Reaction? Somthing Scary Happened.

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NoWhereKnowWhere

MyPTSD Pro
So I've been doing ok in fact I would say quite well. Things are still hard but I'm learning to cope and deal with it so much better.

Something shitty happened. I've moved home to get away from the crazy scary neighbours. And I've been feeling so much safer and more relaxed in the new place. It's quiet and a nicer area.

A few days ago two men unlocked my door and walked into my home. (It turns out the landlord sent them to the wrong place, the other place was empty and they were supposed to be doing repairs. It was an honest mistake) I heard the door and assumed it was my partner and went through only in knickers and a t-shirt ffs. I got the fright of my life.

I was like WTF ARE YOU DOING they got a fright too the place was supposed to be empty. Then I was like get out. They didn't, they said they were here to fix some shit or another and I was like get the f*ck out. Then I went through to the bed room and closed the door got my phone threatened to call the police. One guy shouts through "do you want us to fix (don't remember what he said)" I said "get out of my house" then he was like "so you want us to leave it?" I shouted through "GET OUT" then they f*cked off.

This has really put the shits up me. My partner phoned the landlord and went tits at them they said nothing like that would ever happen again it was human error. Accidents happen but why did I have to say go away so many times before they got the picture.

Shit like this just reminds me of how unsafe I am as a female. I'm so scared all the time. I wanted to go out jogging tonight that always makes me feel better but I'm so f*cking scared. I hate it. Am I overreacting if this was to happen to a normal person they'd be over it by now it might've been a hilarious situation for them? I don't know.

Do I just need to wise up and get my shit together ? Now I'm having trouble sleeping, picked a fight with my parter (I didn't realise that's what I was doing at the time), I want to do something drastic like shave my hair off. It's like two steps forward 15 steps back. I'm not doing good tbh. I feel desperately sad.

It's such a little thing just a mistake. I feel like I should ba able to deal with it better. Or it's like the perfect excuse to f*ck up all my good work. How should I be coping with this? I
 
Oh, NoWhere, I think I would have reacted the same way as you. You were alone and these guys just come into your place. That would make me feel very vulnerable. They should have left the first time you told them to. I can completely understand how you feel now, unsafe to go jogging, etc. Don't shave your hair and apologize to your partner. Chalk it up to probably a one-time thing that won't happen again and calm down. Don't let it screw up all the work you've done. It was a freak incident. Do whatever you do to relax and come down from a stressful event. . . breathing, relaxation techniques, whatever.
 
I'm a guy without PTSD and life freaks me out. Crazy crap like that happens all the time that shouldn't. Ignorance is bliss and is the only reason anyone in this world is still sane. If they knew the crap that can happen, they would be huddled up crying in the corner. One huge reason I want to reinforce all my doors and windows.

You did great though. Way better than I would have. Locking yourself in a room and getting the phone ready and just repeating get out was amazingly good actions to go with. Just know you did amazing in that situation.
 
@hodge thanks for the reply. I haven't shaved my hair off yet and I apologised to my partner we're ok. Thanks for the suggestion, I had been avoiding my usual meditation and self care practice because I was afraid of being in my own head too much. I did meditate last night and felt better for it.

Thank you both for the validation. My therapist says I need to stop invalidating myself and just trust that if I have an emotion that's valid. It's soo hard though especially when I'm prone to overreaction and losing my shit. As well I feel sometimes memory's and thoughts can't be trusted.

I felt so sad yesterday but now I'm pissed. The fact of the matter is this isn't going to be the last I'm going to be scared, intimidated and feel violated at the hand of a male. More than likely the next time I'm in a pub it'll happen and that really f*cking sucks. I can't even count the amount of inappropriate conversation topics, arse grabs/slaps. The amount if times I've felt threatened by some creepy guy. It's f*cking bull shit and I'm sick if it.
 
I can't offer the best advice, since I'm touchy on that subject...BUT I totally know where you're coming from- just reading your situation makes me feel slightly triggered. I would have totally freaked out if it happened to me. I know it's an honest mistake or whatever, but I also get the reaction as well.
Though I agree that the advice given so far is sane and good...I have to say that you may have overreacted, but in today's life....90/100 situations will be honest mistake, or just a rude/unwanted comment or attention or whatever...and 10/100 will be actual "I should worry now" situations. May be I'm wrong. May be it's 98/100., or 99/100. Either way someone is always that one, and you don't want to be that one. And I think most of us on this forum knows what is to be one in an unfortunate situation, albeit not always the same situation.
So while it's good to keep level -headed and know not every situation that is triggering is a threat, it's also good to be better prepared. That doesn't always help you in crazy life situations...but that one time, what if it does help you?
Like, I found awesome website that tells you how to deal with different situations of those that "don't happen to you"...like kidnapping, robbery etc...and it tells you how people usually react, why that isn't the most helpful thing, and how to change it. I honestly haven't read all of them, but it's a good site and I'll return to it.
The other thing is one day I want to do self defence course....but right now I'll be too triggered, so I have to get healthier first.
Anyway, it's good to think reasonably as I said, but it's also good to know that reasonable doesn't mean blind to potential actual threat. It's more of a middle ground. May be I'm still too emotional about this.
 
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