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Overcriticism- opposite desired effect can anyone relate?

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Good for you, :tup: @Mal Content I am so happy for you that you were able to take a sta...
I'm embarrassed to admit that I'm all too willing to take a stand. That's my biggest problem. If I feel bullied, I throw down the gauntlet and roll up my sleeves. My trouble is finding compassion in the moment.
 
People with ptsd commonly harbour a huge sense of shame. It isn't anything to do with deservedness, we just do. Does this make us hyper sensitive to criticism? I think it does.

The common coping strategy we use with ptsd is avoidance. But another (equally dysfunctional) coping strategy is overcompensation (working froma schema perspective at least). So if someone criticises your life? Or how you do things? Watch me as I turn my life into the exact thing you're worried about - how do you like that for a mess!? Or alternatively, watch me as I take your criticism and take it to its extreme.

Yes, it is a thing. Overcompensating.

Apparently the way out of this is to learn self acceptance. Hehehe, that's a work in progress!!
 
That's my biggest problem. If I feel bullied, I throw down the gauntlet and roll up my sleeves.

Mal Content I'm similar I suppose. I also have a selfworth issue which comes with a deep fear of being the one who is being oppressed. I need the feeling that I won the battle. Or was able to stand up which I do but then again I never ever feel good about it because at times I overreact or feel attacked where there is no attack. I once screamed at somebody saying that she is never able to reach my level, I am way too pretty and smarter than her? which is like "huh are you a kid"? Kinda silly but I must have the feeling of power! Thats funny but its how a part of me reacts.
 
I only go after a person who is bullying people that I care for. I try and the key word is try to be mature and responsible as opposed to blindly lashing out but sometimes I can do that too to my dismay.
 
I have a problem standing up for myself/avoiding conflict although I am getting better at the first one


@WishfulThinking... maybe a little imaginative therapy might be helpful? Before going into conflict mode protecting ourselves with gerade and shields. Guards or figures that we symbolize in our minds are suppose to back us up. For an example: My therapist works with Ego states. She has creating the “self parts and guardians“ circle. They have names. When I feel vulnerable, unprotected I imagine these figures standing next to me.

gerade and shields.
Guards and shields sorry
 
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