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Sexual Assault Paranoia That Originates From Past

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AmandaT

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So I was sexually and physically abused as a child. I've been through the flash backs and anxiety attacks but the hardest part for me is the paranoia that leaves me anxious and feeling like I'm in danger all the time. I used drugs and alcohol to cope with all that but when my son came into my life I've stayed clean for almost a year. My major problem is I get these bouts where I get paranoid for no reason and I'll think someone has a hidden agenda and they are plotting something and I become very convinced of it even if its an innocent situation. I'll starting making accusations and I wont realize it right away and when I feel horrible and I dont understand what made me think like that. My counselor tells me it has to do with my fight or flight response. I dont want to destroy my relationship, we are very close and have a son together and he hasnt done anything wrong. unfortunately he gets the back lash of it. I'm afraid of taking any medications because I am a past addict. Has anyone experience this and if so how did you deal with it?
 
I struggle a lot with paranoia as well, due to sexual and other forms of abuse. Paranoia makes it impossible to trust, and I always feel on the defensive. But my therapist has really been working with me to learn to recognize these paranoid thoughts before they create problems in my relationships, so that I can better understand when I'm thinking irrationally. Critically analyzing my thoughts before acting on them emotionally, per se. Helping me to better understand myself, so that I can learn separate a contrived threat from an actual one.
I also can relate to being a past addict..I had the same concern when I began treatment. I spoke to my psychiatrist about my concerns and he only prescribes non addictive medications. If done properly, you can find safe, effective, non addictive treatments. That coupled with therapy can really do a lot of good. I hope I was able to help. Good Luck!
 
You're not alone, @AmandaT. I struggle with that, too. :hug: (virtual hug, if that's okay). I wish I had some words of wisdom, but I don't. I just get it.
 
A doctor once said to me (and I found this helpful) that paranoia is a spectrum. If you're paranoid and know at the time I'm being paranoid you can use some CBT techniques to challenge the behaviour. If you're paranoid but only realise after you can use the same techniques it's just a little harder. You need to be very mindful and think about all these thoughts to challenge them.

Now if you're paranoid but have no idea that you're being paranoid even after the fact that's a very difficult thing to overcome. Not that it can't be. sometimes you need someone in your corner to help challenge the thoughts and reactions by saying "I think you're being a bit paranoid" and offering a different explanation to whatever it is you're being paranoid about.

So it's good you realise you're being paranoid now you have to challenge. It's hard work but totally worth it.
 
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