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Paranoia / trust

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EveHarrington

MyPTSD Pro
I had a long post written and I deleted it.

How do you deal with paranoia? I go through periods when I feel like the whole world is out to get me. I mistrust everything/everyone to the extreme.

I don't know how to fix this. It's intertwined with my trust issues. On a basic level the mistrust is always there. When it spikes it goes into paranoia territory.

People understand mistrust (somewhat) even though it frustrates them. When things jump to paranoid territory you're crazy as a loon and should be locked up/drugged up. People can see the paranoid thoughts/behavior but never have I ever told anyone that I'm paranoid. I don't think I could handle A) the shame or B) their reaction.

I'll post now before I chicken out.
 
I have been there. Paranoia was a driving force for me for many years. It was justified for a large portion of that time, too, which really doesn't help.

I think in the past two years my paranoia lessened significantly when I began to feel safer. Until then I kind of just let myself be paranoid ... I would isolate myself and do things to increase my feelings of safety, but otherwise I couldn't really repress it. It just... Kinda had to work itself out.

Probably not helpful but I'm mostly not paranoid anymore.

Nothing shameful about it. People did their best to shame me, though. It didn't really matter in the end, even though it hurt a lot. But yeah. It hurts a lot... Even though I know they and their malformed opinions and ignorance meant what they thought didn't really matter. Just really sucks when your mentor at work lets/encourages his children to call you stupid when you visit the house and get paranoid at random stuff.

But the paranoia just kept going... And then it got better after a long time.
 
Yeah most people see the paranoia on a totally different level than anxiety in general, but it is definitely part of anxiety for me.

A full blown anxiety attack at my house ALWAYS consists of me being 100% convinced that everything my husband has ever told me was a total lie.
Mine isn't an 'everyone is out to get me' type, but I could imagine it going that way if I were single for sure.

Its usually the last and worst phase of my anxiety before guilt, shame and remorse kick in.
 
I can slip into this too - especially when I'm stressed or under pressure. It's a truly horrible feeling.
Similarly to @Ava Jarvis , when I was at my worst most anxious state I didn't fight myself. I let myself go underground andything to feel safe - and I think it helped in the long run because I learned to trust myself more to look after myself.
I have experienced being deceived and knowing in my gut that j was being deceived, but making myself believe in lies because I wanted to believe.
I think that made me hate myself and mistrust myself, made me feel nowhere was safe - even my own mind!!
Fertile ground for paranoia!!
I've learned that if I trust my own self I feel safer everywhere as I know To always trust my gut now, and if I feel that anxious I'll get out of there or away from that person. I don't need a logical explanation any more.
Sound stupidly simple, but having that attitude has made me feel much safer in the world
 
I tell my son "Paranoid is being afraid of something that isn't happening."

((I would continue on with "Annoyed, meanwhile is being pissy about & aware of things that are happening." ;) This was during the first few years after my divorce when we were being followed by PIs & our house was being broken into weekly. Things we could very well prove were happening. :shifty: With photographs, film, & witnesses. Snort. TheEx actually tried to shift custody based on me being paranoid at one point. Since I actually had evidence? Like statements from a couple of the PI firms, and those photographs/films/witnesses? He got his leash jerked by the courts, that his ongoing stalking & harassing me doesn't qualify as my being paranoid. :rolleyes: Upside of that little adventure was that most of the physical stalking stopped. The tech stalking has continued unabated.)).

I also tell my kiddo that "Just because you think there's an enemy behind every bush? Doesn't mean that there isn't." If you think you're being paranoid? Break it down.

Paranoia is something TheKiddo and I have had a lot of talks about over the years. Because sometimes? The scritching on the glass is someone breaking in. But most of the time? It's just a tree branch. :D So he's needed tools to be able to recognize hypervig & fear and lay those to rest, so that situations can be dealt with calmly, and in an appropriate manner.

That's the bottom line, for me, in all things paranoid.

Because, yes, have had to deal with a whole lot of paranoia over the years. Hell. It was my job to be paranoid for several years. When being paranoid is what keeps you alive? That's a skill that isn't just going to go away.

Dealing with a possible -however unlikely- situation in a calm an appropriate manner is the difference between putting on a seatbelt every time you get into a car (which is a paranoid act, taking steps to prevent something from happening that has a very very small probability of happening), & any one of dozens of huge fear/anxiety/hypervig=paranoia-party! OMFG!!! actions, & refusing to wear a seatbelt at all (because it's paranoid, and you refuse to bow to paranoia).

To me... It doesn't matter what the situation is. Calmly & Appropriately? Neither overreacting nor underreacting? That's my standard.

In order to get to that standard? Involves a whole lot of linear thinking, judgement calls, reality checks, and prioritizing. Which are freaking hard to do when paranoid.

Worth it, though. Because paranoia is a motherf*cker!
 
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Luckily, even when experiencing paranoia, I'm the one person hubby trusts 99% of the time.

Sometimes he recognises it, and sometimes he doesn't. During this time he won't leave the house unless it's dark out or I'm with him.

Also our kitchen knives tend to disappear and reappear hidden in odd places.

I try to support him, but it's sometimes difficult to know what is supporting and what is enabling.
 
How do you deal with paranoia? I

Awesome question for me, as im paranoid over almost everything. For me, historically, if i can take a step back from whatever im paranoid about and tap into the rational side of my brain and i ask myself how rational is this? I can normally get myself out of it. Sometimes i have to walk away from whatever it is and approach it a bit later and its like a have a clearer mind or another perspective. Sometimes i have to keep reminding myself that im being paranoid (and where that comes from as to not self judge) and at times i get stuck in the paranoia but thats also where this site comes in handy, you can post about it and id say situation specific would be better, if possible or if you're comfortable, so you can get outside views of the situation.
 
I really struggle with paranoia, even on the most mundane of topics. I'm to the point where the only way I can judge it is to ask a friend, and even then I still wonder and toss and turn and ruminate and bite my nails... It's like a switch snaps and suddenly that person, or that group, or that something has a secret agenda. I don't know how to turn it off, and even though my rational brain eventually kicks in as a voice of reason, I still feel the feeling of paranoia even if I know it's not the case.
 
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