Candleflames
MyPTSD Pro
Parenting is a lot of things. It's hard to do but so rewarding at the same time. The PTSD has offered some unique hurdles and perspectives. In looking back I can see some of the things that helped and things that hindered my ability to be a parent. There's the lack of sleep that comes with parenting and then the addition of nightmares or night terrors or fear of sleeping that we suffer from that exacerbates the fatigue. There's the hyperawarness and hypervigilance that can lead to over protection. The avoidance that can make us unable to share in some of the joys of their growing. Then the dissociation or flashbacks that makes us incapacitated for a time. The difficulty relating to others that means we have a hard time mingling with the friends parents. I'd add anxiety but as a parent it is experienced as sheer terror. I worry, as other parents do, that my having ptsd has/will interfere with child raising to the point of disaster.
I have 3 children (18, 14, 11) and spent most of my time as a mother undiagnosed. Yet somehow my partner and I have managed to raise (so far) amazing children. I vowed to not be like my parents, who were the source of my trauma, and took classes on parenting and child development. That has helped so much. In addition reading books from people who work with children, working in a day care, working on myself, having psychologists or doctors to help me has been a relief. I'm also lucky enough to have found a mentor who has helped me to define myself. Knowing myself has helped me in so many ways I can't even find words to express.
Still it has it's hardships. I am far from perfect but I think I might have been good enough so far. Now I am trying to figure out how to be the parent of and adult.
So what do I want from this thread? A place to share our ideas and experiences on parenting, whatever the stage your children are in. How do you address the issues I laid forth in the first paragraph? How do you keep conversations/explanations going from one childhood stage to another? How do you discuss your ptsd and causes with your children? Most importantly what questions should we be asking ourselves?
Did I forget anything? Probably.
I have 3 children (18, 14, 11) and spent most of my time as a mother undiagnosed. Yet somehow my partner and I have managed to raise (so far) amazing children. I vowed to not be like my parents, who were the source of my trauma, and took classes on parenting and child development. That has helped so much. In addition reading books from people who work with children, working in a day care, working on myself, having psychologists or doctors to help me has been a relief. I'm also lucky enough to have found a mentor who has helped me to define myself. Knowing myself has helped me in so many ways I can't even find words to express.
Still it has it's hardships. I am far from perfect but I think I might have been good enough so far. Now I am trying to figure out how to be the parent of and adult.
So what do I want from this thread? A place to share our ideas and experiences on parenting, whatever the stage your children are in. How do you address the issues I laid forth in the first paragraph? How do you keep conversations/explanations going from one childhood stage to another? How do you discuss your ptsd and causes with your children? Most importantly what questions should we be asking ourselves?
Did I forget anything? Probably.