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People At Work - Stressful Positions

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Monarch

MyPTSD Pro
OK, I am a project Manager at a large printing facility, so I have a little stress in my job, ok alot of stress. Anyway, someone either in estimating or planning lost one of my jobs, I have trying to find it for days and finally found it behind someone's desk in Planning after getting in an arguement with the manager there about where it was at the time. So I find it and today I am in a meeting and one of the guys starts talking about that job and I said " yeah I finally found it behind the desk in the planning office". Joe (asshole) pipes up and calls me a "liar" and says that he and Chad looked behind the desk before and it wasn't there". I am so pissed, I want to go off. I said, "what, am I twelve, sure I went in there and hid the job and pretended to find it, I don't play games like that Joe". Then I walked out of the room, I am still ready to F^%$% explode what a jerk. I would never do that, EVER. I can't believe he called me a liar in front of everyone. That was pretty harsh. I am totally Raging now I gotta take a walk.
 
Hello Monarch, it sounds like office politics to me. One of the main reasons I work for myslef! Just try and remember a lot of this kind of thing isn't actually personal at all. Its just people trying to make themselves look good, more professional etc in front of the boss. Its pathetic and hurtful but you have to step away and think why is he behaving or saying that? Easy said than done I know but it really isn't personal. He's looking after himself because of his own inadequacies. Rise above it!
 
Oh I wish I could, I did oK with that but I had a run-in today with someone else, what the hell is going on! This guy verbally abused me and apparently I raised my voice at him, only because he wouldn't listen and kept talking over me. So I get called to the carpet, it is so lame. So now i have to do anger management courses or i am fired. It is all big corporate bullshit. Someone else can treat me like shit but I can't defend myself or I get in trouble, I hate this World. I really need to go back and finish law school.
 
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I wonder if its a sign things are getting better for you? I have been getting more angry recently and getting into more arguments and someone suggested to me that it was a good sign! I couldn't see it at first but he explained that because I am getting better I am more aware of what I want, dont want in a situation. I want things to be fair all the time and if someone trys to take advantage of me in a situation or undermines me I fight back. The only problem is my level of fighting back is a little aggressive! Therefore I end up in more fights. Does this sound similar or is it just me?! I see it as good but that I still need to learn to manage my reactions and try and tone down my bite back to make me more socially acceptable! :rolleyes:
 
Sounds like me Claire! I saw my therapist today and we talked through it and he actually made me step back look at it and realize that it wasn't all my fault. I really tend to blame myself for everything then go into the self hate and self harm phase. I put a halt to some of that this time which is great progress too. The anger thing also I believe is a phase of healing so you are right there. I guess I just have to know when to fight and when to back down.

Thanks!
 
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