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Perception of ourselves

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Revena

I've been wondering if what we perceive ourselves to be influences our behaviors.

Seems fairly obvious to say that like this, of course it does. But what I'm wondering is, if we see ourselves as bad people, deserving of abuse, revictimizing ourselves, then having periods of "I don't deserve this sh*t" and acting out, sometimes with bad coping skills, are we honestly seeing ourselves for who we are...?

I'm not perfect, but I have good qualities. Someone pointed them out to me recently and I teared up and became incredibly depressed, because I don't see myself as worthy of flattery.

We grow and go to therapy to treat this skewed self perception, trying to make our lives worth living after being robbed of self worth, especially us with less than nurturing parents (not comparing trauma, just saying it's different, not better or worse) that grew up thinking we were failures just for being in existence..

I just want to say with this, that even with lousy self perception, what drives us to be better people should be aknowledged in all of us. I don't know anything healthier than developing coping skills for the evils of the world and fighting those demons every day.

You all have my respect.
 
What a kind and quite accurate post. Thanks for making time to post it. It's definitely an ongoing struggle in my world....as our energies flow wherever our attention goes...for real. I can relate very strongly to tearing up when receiving a compliment of any kind, too. I never received those in my younger years, and later when I received them, it was usually simply because the other person wanted something from me. I used to think it was way too out there to believe that what I think about could influence how my day goes, but it's very true. Even if the thoughts were planted by another decades ago, it still has the potential to greatly interfere with my ability to flow and grow at any given moment. It eventually forced the need to be able to allow and process feelings, which really sucked as far as I was concerned, as I had been surviving for decades by running like hell from each of those damn feelings.
 
It seems to me that the perception of myself as a 'victim' led to further "re"-victimization, both intentionally and unintentionally.

The perception of myself as a "survivor" led to feelings of pride and joy but also of sadness, sorrow, and depression....and so, I adopted a new perception of myself as a "warrior". Which for me is all about personal empowerment, strength (both outer and inner), and freedom from the past....

......freedom not only from misplaced anger, guilt, and shame but also freedom from trauma entirely...at least, as much as is humanly possible.

To be fair, I suppose all of these self-perceptions are 'correct' to some degree or another but it is the "warrior" that makes up the bulk of my self-perception these days. It is with a warriors stance that I take a stand with all survivors of trauma, but most especially with the 'sexually abused child'. We each have a right to be heard, to be believed, to be healed from our traumas, and a right to a life free from the tyranny of abuse.

As cliché as it may be to say, I have to say this for myself and about myself..."you've come a long way baby!!!"
 
It seems to me that the perception of myself as a 'victim' led to further "re"-victimization..

I really like this idea, having recently realised that, carrying a lifetime of emotional pain, I was inadvertently projecting 'victim' at everyone I met, and actually attracting new abusers into my life.
I am currently casting about for a way to mentally discard the old persona and begin wearing the new one - Strength. I think it is going to be a case of constantly reminding myself that this is who I am now, until it becomes habit.

Thank you, Revena, for the thread,
and Agoke, for your strategy.
 
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