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Permanent Memory Loss From Emdr

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Amy stewart

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I had almost a year of intense EMDR which got me to the point of functioning and the panic attacks going away. Now I have a LOT of memory loss. People will tell me of things that happened in my past and I try and try to remember but cannot. If I had to do it all again I would have as I was in a living nightmare with my ex husband. But please be aware that the memory loss can happen.
 
Hello Amy, what you talk about is quite a concern. I heard from my T about doing EMDR to help me with my dissociation.
I have had EMDR some time ago aswell. That turned out better. Now I see that it could go a whole different way aswell.
Thanks for sharing this experience.
 
I have many mental defenses in place which keep me from being able to seamlessly move through the timeline of my life at will. That's the dissociation. But I'm aware of it now, and when it happens, I trust my brain that it is protecting me from being overwhelmed at the time it's happening. I used to not be aware of it, and once I began to understand what was happening, I was ashamed of the dissociation.

Now, it's a highly adaptive skill I used to survive. I don't retreat into it as much. But thanks to my trauma therapist, I am learning how to make the dissociation actually increase my day to day functioning and enjoyment of my life.

My memory loss was already there before my EMDR. Though I have noticed that the traumas I have processed aren't easily called up into my memory sometimes. They've become just a memory with some residual feelings of loss, grief, etc. But they no longer carry the hot, debilitating, terrifying unprocessed emotions they used to.

I don't think the EMDR has made my memory loss worse, but even if it has, I'm still continuing it. It's totally worth it to me.
 
From my understanding, if you are undergoing stress lately, then you will be experiencing memory loss as a coping mechanism. This is even true for those who do not have PTSD, but is much more noticeable in those with PTSD, who already have memory issues just from the PTSD.

Can you be sure the stress elevation is isolated to EMDR, or is life stress creeping up, too? I hope this helps, Muse
 
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