I was raised in an alcohol fueled abusive household. Before I left home at 18 for the navy, I had been to the ER over a dozen times.
I'm fourth grade, I was an alter boy. I was raped by a priest. I couldn't believe this man who had befriended me did this. Beyond that, he told me I was a disgusting mess and to clean myself up as he left the room. I told no one. Who could possibly believe this happened? Then it happened again.
I told my parents. The next thing I know all eight children were transferred from public to Catholic school. I had to confess my sin of lying and work for the priest everyday after school for two months.
I was raped almost daily. I had to steal kotex from my sisters to line my underwear and hide the semen, blood, and ejaculate combination. That smell still stays with me to this day. It never goes away.
Enough old history. In the spring of 2016 I had a concussion. Since then, whether it's the PTSD, the repeated head trauma as a kid, or a combination, I cannot make new memories stick reliably. Some will, others won't.
I'm an engineer. I can't work this way. I've been on disability since the incident.
I've improved, but have hit a plateau.
I can think now. I can reason. I remember my college education in detail. Anything from June of 2016 forward is a crap shoot.
My identity was wrapped up in being a genius. Now I'm not that. I don't know what I am anymore. I just know I don't like it.
I'm fourth grade, I was an alter boy. I was raped by a priest. I couldn't believe this man who had befriended me did this. Beyond that, he told me I was a disgusting mess and to clean myself up as he left the room. I told no one. Who could possibly believe this happened? Then it happened again.
I told my parents. The next thing I know all eight children were transferred from public to Catholic school. I had to confess my sin of lying and work for the priest everyday after school for two months.
I was raped almost daily. I had to steal kotex from my sisters to line my underwear and hide the semen, blood, and ejaculate combination. That smell still stays with me to this day. It never goes away.
Enough old history. In the spring of 2016 I had a concussion. Since then, whether it's the PTSD, the repeated head trauma as a kid, or a combination, I cannot make new memories stick reliably. Some will, others won't.
I'm an engineer. I can't work this way. I've been on disability since the incident.
I've improved, but have hit a plateau.
I can think now. I can reason. I remember my college education in detail. Anything from June of 2016 forward is a crap shoot.
My identity was wrapped up in being a genius. Now I'm not that. I don't know what I am anymore. I just know I don't like it.
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