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Portabella's Mental Imagery

Discussion in 'General' started by Portabella, Feb 27, 2007.

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  1. Portabella

    Portabella Well-Known Member

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    This is an imaginery journey down a road. Take in the sights, sounds and colours, just like a video camera recording all that lies surrounding you. Survey the scene, noticing whatis far off in the distance, the background surrounds, the weather, the season and a total image of what you view. Feel the ground beneath your feet. Try to visualize it as a picture on a canvas, but with movement, sound, colour and emotion. You are the surveyor on this journey. Draw your journey on paper if you desire, as it often shows clearer results, then attach your drawing via snapshot or scan to your post.

    Q1. What colour is the road? faded black/dark gray
    Q2. What texture is the road? Paved but gravelly
    Q3. How solid is the road? Solid but lots of pebbles on surface

    You continue walking and come to a river that must be crossed. There before you is the river; the size and depth are up to you. You cannot go around it but must imagine a way to cross it. Whatever you need to cross the river is already within your mind, just imagine seeing yourself do it.

    Q4. How do you cross the river? walk across a small bridge/overpass
    Q5. What does the water look like? stagnet on sides, current in the middle
    Q6. How fast is the water current? Steady, but no white water
    Q7. Is there anything in the water? If so, what? little sandbars

    You have crossed the river and continue walking. You come to a house. Take a good look at the house. Notice the impression it makes on you.

    Q8. What colour is the house? White
    Q9. What condition is the house in? Old and used, but livable
    Q10. Does anyone live in the house? If so, who? An old lady

    We continue forward in our minds journey and come to an open field. A cup is on the ground, and we stop to examine it. The cup can be of any size, shape, colour and description. Focus on it's look, condition and contents.

    Q11. What colour is the cup? Off white
    Q12. What condition is the cup in? Good but plain, made of ceramic, more of a mug or coffee cup.
    Q13. Is there anything in the cup? If so, what? Empty, but stained

    You continue walking down the road and come to something blocking your path. It stops you in your tracks and prevents you from going forward. This is an obstacle.

    Q14. What is the obstacle, and please describe it in detail? A group of people 15 or so, strangers that I do not know. They are standing in my path, they appear to know one another and are talking.
    Q15. What do you see beyond the obstacle? Sky, Nothing at all just the people.
     
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  3. Portabella

    Portabella Well-Known Member

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    Now you have had a break, go back to every question and look at your response. Try and find what you feel that your mind presented the image it did. Explain colours you chose, textures, water, cup, solids, liquids, space, objects, people, anything and everything that you wrote from your projected image, try and find what you feel to why you have that image. Don't look hard at things, instead try and look for the easy answers, as they are often the correct one's. Don't attempt to find something that isn't present, just look at each aspect for its absolute simplicity.

    This is not an absolute, but something you must do in order to try and self analyse yourself. This is important. Please answer what you can, and simply define if you cannot find an emotion to a response you gave.

    #1-My road is faded black or dark gray because I have been on it for a long time, through all weather conditions and situations. It like me has faded with age and wear.

    #2-My road is gravelly and has many pebbles as I am never totally stable or sure footed on the road of life. I know that I can and will fall with the slightest of obstacles, such as an uneven piece of gravel or pebble under ones shoe.

    #3-I cross the river by bridge, as the stagnent water will surely make me sick and the current may drown me. I never want to touch the water.

    #4- The current is steady, to instill fear of the unknown, not knowing if physically I could make it through the current.

    #5- The little sandbars are a trick to try and lure me to cross the water in a more dangerous fashion. The sandbars also divide the decaying stagnant water from the fresh water current that is steadily flowing.

    #6-The house is white and old but livable. The house is comforting to me, as I feel the old woman is not a threat. I see the house as an old Bungalow style, and feel that there is a sense of peace to the house. I feel I am praying for a future where I could be the old woman living in peace in an old livable house.

    #7-I think the cup is me, Good condition on the outside, sturdy to all who look at me, but stained on the inside. The cup is smooth and ceramic like a coffee mug, built to last yet one good drop and it would shatter. The cup is empty, I have a void in my life, have all my life, don't know what it would take to fill the void. But, having been stained means I have lived more than others my same age. I have seen more than many, and have the inside stain/scars to prove it.

    #8-I am afraid of large groups, but more so I hate when I am the only one in a large group that doesn't know anybody. I want to walk through them and not have to acknowledge them and be on my way, but...I know this is not possible, so I stop. I don't want to get close to people.

    #9-I am uncertain what my future holds, therefore I see nothing but the obstacles. I have to address my issues so that I can move into the future and get past my obstacles. People. I have severe trust issues and trust no one.
     
  4. anthony

    anthony Renovation Aficionado Founder

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    You feel confused and sad about life, though it is a little difficult for you and you feel progression is unstable at times, you are not trusting within intimacy, and even feel intimacy is stagnant, though you are aware of these problems. You demonstrate an innocent idealism towards your support systems, likely they have been poor / are poor now even, which you are aware and likely a reflection upon your low self esteem. You value commitment and show no commitment towards anyone or anything other than your already known commitments. Your biggest problem is the feeling of being judged by others. This feeling is common among adolescents who often succumb to peer pressur because they are not firm in their own individual strengths and beliefs, instead requiring the affirmation of others. You are pessimistic about the future at this time.

    What strikes a chord within you from this?

    innocent idealism
    value commitment
    no commitment
     
  5. Portabella

    Portabella Well-Known Member

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    You hit it pretty close. I am often confused and always sad, although I am a master at feigning "happy". I am not trusting within or without intimacy. Intimacy is stagnant, and yes I am very aware and sadly don't want that to change, I am quite content with that. I have always had "me" as my support system, however no one taught me how, so I do the best to support me as I can. I am very commited to my children and my pets. I sadly have a very hard time with a true commitment to anyone else, I can like a person so very much, but they hurt me once and I turn off all emotion and can never regain any towards them. It is not a grudge, I just make them vanish from my world other than necessary communication if I work with them. Family, I am civil. I do not succumb to peer pressure, in fact I am rather eccentric and definately am set in my own special ways, and again I am eccentric. I really don't care what people think. Except with my two main jobs, Motherhood and where ever I work, I want to be the best at both. Very Pessimistic and scared to death. That is the truth. Nothing strikes a nerve. But it all strikes a cord. However, I will say I value commitment and respect highly, you are correct there. I remember being in a beauty parlor at about 14 y.o. and seeing this little old man help his obvious wife put her coat on and hold hands going to the door. He gave her a kiss and opened the door for her. They looked 90 by God. I was touched and have never forgotten, that is commitment.
     
  6. Portabella

    Portabella Well-Known Member

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    Portabella number 2

    Start The Road Interview "copy between the tags" //

    This is an imaginery journey down a road. Take in the sights, sounds and colours, just like a video camera recording all that lies surrounding you. Survey the scene, noticing whatis far off in the distance, the background surrounds, the weather, the season and a total image of what you view. Feel the ground beneath your feet. Try to visualize it as a picture on a canvas, but with movement, sound, colour and emotion. You are the surveyor on this journey. Draw your journey on paper if you desire, as it often shows clearer results, then attach your drawing via snapshot or scan to your post.

    Q1. What colour is the road? light brown
    Q2. What texture is the road? Dirt with rocks in it, a berm on the sides
    Q3. How solid is the road? the road is solid and dry, but not to the point of cracking earth. Dusty is a better way of describing it.

    You continue walking and come to a river that must be crossed. There before you is the river; the size and depth are up to you. You cannot go around it but must imagine a way to cross it. Whatever you need to cross the river is already within your mind, just imagine seeing yourself do it.

    Q4. How do you cross the river? there is a foot bridge, old and rickety, yet still sturdy. No handles, but splintery like if you crossed barefoot you would surely get a ton of splinters. No handrails, yet wide enough about 3 feet across as not to worry. The bridge is not straight it is almost a half moon, it goes up in the middle and down again.

    Q5. What does the water look like? Calm but has some movement, sticks are sticking out of the water and roots and tall grass line the edges. The water is dark but glistening. The water looks cold but refreshing, the water has sound to it.
    Q6. How fast is the water current? Slow, very calm yet moving to my right.

    Q7. Is there anything in the water? If so, what? just twigs and roots growing out of the water. Roots by the edge, twigs in several locations, looks like trees of past but just twigs. trees that did not get to grow. Sandbars, little muddy sandbars up stream.

    You have crossed the river and continue walking. You come to a house. Take a good look at the house. Notice the impression it makes on you.

    Q8. What colour is the house? Once White, but now dingy, greyish
    Q9. What condition is the house in? disrepair, porch is peeling, steps are worn to bare wood. Windows don't shine. Roof appears sturdy. Weeds growing through the sidewalk cracks.
    Q10. Does anyone live in the house? If so, who? I don't see anyone. I don't know. I imagine someone lives there, it does not look abandoned. There are lace sheer curtains hanging in the main floor windows. No cars. Dirt lawn.

    We continue forward in our minds journey and come to an open field. A cup is on the ground, and we stop to examine it. The cup can be of any size, shape, colour and description. Focus on it's look, condition and contents.

    Q11. What colour is the cup? Orange, faded, white inside, like a coffee cup but no gripper, but definately ceramic, thick like a mug.
    Q12. What condition is the cup in? Old but good, just faded.
    Q13. Is there anything in the cup? If so, what? Nothing.

    You continue walking down the road and come to something blocking your path. It stops you in your tracks and prevents you from going forward. This is an obstacle.

    Q14. What is the obstacle, and please describe it in detail? A cows head nailed to a tree, looks like he ran so fast he ran through the trunk, but his head is nailed there.
    Q15. What do you see beyond the obstacle? Corn fields, stone walls lining farm fields, the dirt road continues through the fields walls and woods lining the walls.

    // End The Road Interview "copy between the tags"

    I believe the road is brown and earthen because its back to basics, I have had to go back to basics and start at the basics. The rocks show little trip falls. The dusty is we all must get a little dirty to walk the road.

    The bridge is not so much an obstacle, but means use common sense. Keep your shoes on. Walk slowly and you will get to the other side with out terrible pain or harm, go barefoot and you will suffer. I think it will take work to cross, but is not really dangerous as much as takes focus.

    The water is not threatening, however to dark to want to swim in, so take the bridge and focus. The water is good and bad, dark but glistens. Have to take the good with the bad or vice versa. The twigs represent life that never got to bloom due to the water. The sandbars are false security as they would not be sturdy, not even as sturdy as the rickety bridge, choose your path wisely and don't get off the path.
    I really don't feel what the house represents. I think the house may be me. My hair is starting to grey and since joining this forum stopped coloring it and am letting my hair be natural and grow in. I tell people I earned it when they ask. Might mean I may be a bit peeling and greying, yet livable.

    The cup all I can think is it may be faded, but its good and still functionable. I would have no qualms about using it.

    I once as a younger girl ran into a cow's head in a patch of woods, it was a bull's head to be exact. There were fly's on it and I stared at it for sometime and it appeared he had stuck his head through the tree. I was repulsed and afraid, yet I looked and then got the Willies. It stopped me dead in my tracks and I have not thought of that bull until just now since it happened or at least I don't think I have thought of him.

    Stone, trees and Cornfields, all very steady, sturdy and yet a altered kind of picture of a landscape with oddly up and down lines. I think my future path is still uncertain. What is in the fields. Anymore obstacles on the trees. My path is still up and down.
     
  7. anthony

    anthony Renovation Aficionado Founder

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    You feel quite depreciated overall, unappreciated even. Not trusting in intimacy, even find it painful at times. Secrets that your aware remain hidden. You where once naive about your support system, though now confused regarding the lack off, hence remains your low self esteem. You value commitment in relationships. Your biggest problem at present is feeling helplessness, hopelessness and likely worthlessness. Perhaps the pain in your life makes you feel as though you have lost the battle already, little strenght to carry on! These feelings are a strong signal to the severity of one's pain.
     
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