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General Posting As A Carer And Sufferer - Healing My Son

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I will be thinking of you today Bec, and praying the day treats you well. I cannot imagine packing away my entire family support, and being uncertain what the future held. It sounds quite lonely and frightening. I do agree however, acting as if you are still being abused cannot be healthy for you or Matt. I like your positive self-talk about the situation in spite of your fears. I do hope this will be the beginning of something much better for the both of you.

Certainly the drug withdrawals are not helping how you're feeling, nor the separation anxiety. Evie has dreadful separation anxiety at times, perhaps the two of you can chat later in the week. Do try to take it easy, continue focusing on the positives, but allow yourself all your feelings. This is a new experience for you, and you are bound to be feeling anxious about it. I would be more worried about you if you were not anxious. And Jodee makes good sense as always. Perhaps the doctors can help the two of you, and this time apart could be a good break for you both. Try not to think of it as final, as hard as that is. You will see Matt again, and very soon. Things are changing for the two of you, however hopefully for the good.

Oh dear I fear I am rambling, too many days spent in bed! :wink: In any event Bec, do take care today and keep us posted.
 
I'm still working on getting Matt all packed up. Thankfully, luckily and gratefully, Ryan gave me piles of food today, so I was able to pack Matt up a bunch of special treats! That helped me feel less like a heel.

We just have a bit more laundry to do (last of his clothes and a blanket to take) and then Matt is in the shower and off to bed.

Tomorrow will be rather wild for me. I have two appointments, back to back, right before Matt is due for admission, then another right after. I'm thinking I might cancel a few of these and only go to one. Just too much to do. Won't give me much of a chance to worry though! However I don't want to overload myself either. Ugh.. Fine line to walk there.

So.. I'm just around 16 hours away from it. Matt is still very excited. Which is good. That has helped my perspective tremendously.

I got my meds worked out last night in emerg (it was a very very long night) so my withdrawals aren't half as bad as they were. Thank god.

Kathy, I think I will chat with Evie about the separation anxiety. Probably be good for me to talk about it some.

bec
 
Bec all the best today ( or tomorrow) time difference!
Remember baby steps and jump on here if you need to express yourself!
Jen
 
Your day sounds rather busy! Good luck with everything Bec, do take care and keep us informed. Evie has the laptop in bed with her once again should you wish to chat. :wink:
 
Bec,

Hope things go well for you and Matt today, and in the days to come.

Wendy
 
Well I made it through the first night.

Matt is settled in and quite happy. Says he can sleep better because there are people to keep him safe there. Probably be the first time he's had decent sleep in a few years.

We were both given huge questionnaire's to fill out. I'm almost done. Matt was rather excited to know he beat me getting them done.

Hospital is already calling requesting I bring more snacks for him. He ate the entire bag from last night, that I had filled with goodies. I told them I can't.

Funny how I don't have money growing off the tree in the backyard.

Actually the nurse calling really stressed me out. After tonight, I won't even be able to afford to visit until the first, and I don't even have the slightest clue how I'm gonna make it to appointments for the next two weeks.

So I was doing well, now I'm not.

Just kinda want to tell the world to **** off really.

bec
 
Bec,

I know this is a really stressful time for you. I've had both of my girls in the hospital before (my oldest twice) and I know how tough it is to be a mom and have to step back.

Remember you told me to put my self care into action and take care of myself because stressful times tend to make our progress go down the pooper? Well, I'm giving you your advice back.

And Matt will get plenty of good food to eat while he's there. And he'll learn a good lesson about delayed gratification when he wants another snack and all of his were gone the first day.

You're doing better than you think right now. Now's the time for you to take care of Bec and only Bec while Matt being taken care of by others. You'll worry (moms do that), but like you said, Matt's happy and he feels safe.

Hugs and take care of yourself.
Lisa
 
Only a quick note Bec, as I am exceedingly busy, however I hope you are fairing well. Yes it would be pleasant for Matt to have snacks, however not at all necessary to his recovery! The hospital should not be calling and expecting you to be constantly providing snacks for him, regardless of your income. Our tax dollars are paying to look after him in hospital, and that should include his feeding! I agree with Marlene regarding the lesson in delayed gratification. It is something all children must learn at some point. In any event, do take care and continue to keep us informed of yours and Matt's progress.
 
Well I am much better today. I was yesterday too, but was very busy.

Matt had an MRI yesterday, but got freaked so they have to try again, with sedatives. I've gotten many phone calls from him. He's getting very anxious as they are changing around a few of the other kids on the ward. The staff didn't even realize it till I told them. I haven't really been told much so far, so I have to rely on Matt for information. However he is doing well there. The snacks were straightened out. I explained to the nurse that I can not afford it. They think he might have an eating disorder, as he binges. They think he eats for comfort or boredom. I have to admit it's crossed my mind once or twice.

I'm not as depressed as I was. I spent all of yesterday with Ryan bouncing from here, to the hospital then his house. He kept me busy and that really helped with my mood. I'm not quite sure what I'm up to today.. but at least it isn't crushing depression.

bec
 
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