I mentioned in another thread that I told a couple online friends about my joining here, and they asked me to post for them. This one is a rape victim, so I'm putting it here. I hope it's alright if I post for him.
He wanted to go by Ben. He was too scared to join, because he's never been able to tell anyone close to him about what happened to him - the times a similar topic has come up in conversations with his social circle, not in relation to him, all his friends have said a guy would be lucky to be raped and they'd love it. So of course he hasn't brought it up. He's a gay man who had a childhood friend, a girl. They grew up in the same town, and she always seemed to have a crush on him. He never asked her and she never said, she just always acted that way around him. Their families were close. He's from a family that can't accept homosexuality, and he doesn't think she'd get it either. They both went to a party a few years ago (they're both in their 30's), and it wasn't really an event he wanted to attend, so he got a little sloshed beforehand to make it easier to stand. Only a little. He said she noticed that and kept offering him more and more, until he was seriously drunk, too much to be able to defend himself. She took him to a hotel, restrained him to the bed and raped him. He said the act itself is pretty blurry, but that he remembers the before and after more clearly. But it wasn't great, and he didn't like it. He's felt filthy and like he's not a human ever since then. She intentionally didn't use protection and got pregnant. They're both from families that don't allow pregnancy without marriage, and she knew that. She used it to blackmail him into marrying her. So he now has a wife and a son, and he can't bring himself to love or care about either. They're both a constant reminder. He's not hurting for money, so he does his best to always find an excuse to be traveling. But he still feels guilty for not being able to be a father to the kid. But he hates her for being so selfish as to get another life involved in her own greed and lust. In his experience, there's been a general consensus that women don't commit rape, that women don't get lusty like that, and that it's physically impossible for a woman to rape a man. Which is wrong. I could explain how that works but it's pretty explicit. I'm sure you can figure it out. He said he was a really passionate feminist before that, but because of his constant fears and paranoia now he's a misogynist. He has no idea what to do. He's been deep in depression ever since then, and he said every night in bed, no matter what bed it is, a voice tells him to kill himself. But he can't bring himself to leave the kid with such a twisted person like that permanently. He's said it's made him take a lot more risks, get into extreme sports, in the hopes some accident will happen. He's terrified to get a boyfriend, too. Scared she, or someone, will find out. So he's pretty trapped. He wanted to be able to get that out there. If there's any advice for him, I'll pass it along.
He wanted to go by Ben. He was too scared to join, because he's never been able to tell anyone close to him about what happened to him - the times a similar topic has come up in conversations with his social circle, not in relation to him, all his friends have said a guy would be lucky to be raped and they'd love it. So of course he hasn't brought it up. He's a gay man who had a childhood friend, a girl. They grew up in the same town, and she always seemed to have a crush on him. He never asked her and she never said, she just always acted that way around him. Their families were close. He's from a family that can't accept homosexuality, and he doesn't think she'd get it either. They both went to a party a few years ago (they're both in their 30's), and it wasn't really an event he wanted to attend, so he got a little sloshed beforehand to make it easier to stand. Only a little. He said she noticed that and kept offering him more and more, until he was seriously drunk, too much to be able to defend himself. She took him to a hotel, restrained him to the bed and raped him. He said the act itself is pretty blurry, but that he remembers the before and after more clearly. But it wasn't great, and he didn't like it. He's felt filthy and like he's not a human ever since then. She intentionally didn't use protection and got pregnant. They're both from families that don't allow pregnancy without marriage, and she knew that. She used it to blackmail him into marrying her. So he now has a wife and a son, and he can't bring himself to love or care about either. They're both a constant reminder. He's not hurting for money, so he does his best to always find an excuse to be traveling. But he still feels guilty for not being able to be a father to the kid. But he hates her for being so selfish as to get another life involved in her own greed and lust. In his experience, there's been a general consensus that women don't commit rape, that women don't get lusty like that, and that it's physically impossible for a woman to rape a man. Which is wrong. I could explain how that works but it's pretty explicit. I'm sure you can figure it out. He said he was a really passionate feminist before that, but because of his constant fears and paranoia now he's a misogynist. He has no idea what to do. He's been deep in depression ever since then, and he said every night in bed, no matter what bed it is, a voice tells him to kill himself. But he can't bring himself to leave the kid with such a twisted person like that permanently. He's said it's made him take a lot more risks, get into extreme sports, in the hopes some accident will happen. He's terrified to get a boyfriend, too. Scared she, or someone, will find out. So he's pretty trapped. He wanted to be able to get that out there. If there's any advice for him, I'll pass it along.