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Sufferer Postnatal Ptsd

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Emmal88

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Hi everyone
My names Emma I'm 27 from N.Ireland. I had my 1st child in June 2015. My daughter Caitlyn was born at 30weeks so 10weeks premature due to pre-eclampsia she weighed a tiny little 2lb 15oz.

I had an emergency C-section due to my bp being very high and Caitlyn's heart traces went very sleepy, she also stopped growing from 28/29 weeks.

I was in hospital the week before Caitlyn was born due to the pre-eclampsia. On the Wednesday I had a scan at 5pm, in which I was told my baby had stopped growing and fluid had reduced around her and they where going to have to deliver her in next few days, they had to fine a NICU bed 1st. 7pm Dr came to see me on ward and said they found a bed and transferring me asap by ambulance.

Ambulance arrived at 730 and I was taken to another hospital with sirens and flashing lights, ambulance was flying down the road. I arrived at 8pm usually would take roughly 50/60mins. I was put on baby heart rate monitor, consultant thought I'd be taken to theatre at 9am next morning and by 12am consultant became very concerned as baby hadn't kicked and her trace was sleepy, I was told I was being taken to theatre now. Caitlyn was born at 1:36am. I only got to see her over the sheet and in the incubator for a minute. It was 530am before I got to be taken to NICU to meet my daughter.

She was in NICU for 4 weeks before getting to bring her home, I spent everyday in the hospital with her.

She was back in hospital after 2 months due to an abscess that is when the PTSD started.

I'm now constantly in fear of losing my daughter, having nightmares most nights, constantly waking during the night. Having flashbacks triggered by sounds and smells. I also have separation anxiety and if I'm not with Caitlyn I'm freaking out. I am seeing a counselor and on medication.
 
Hi Emma, you poor poor girl. I hope baby is ok. I bet she is so sweet. It's good you are speaking to someone, well done. Having a baby is terrifying as it is, but to endure what you did is just horrendous. I really feel for you. You are on the right track and quickly. Huge hugs
 
Hi everyone
My names Emma I'm 27 from N.Ireland. I had my 1st child in June 2015. My daughter Caitlyn wa...


Aw-w-w, Emma, :hug:. What a rough start! I think it is pretty understandable that you feel you need to be with her all the time! I pray she grows stronger every day, and you can soon have her home. Try to get as much skin to skin contact with her as you can. I think it will calm both of you.

Glad to hear you are working with a therapist.
 
Thank you for all your kind messages. My daughter got home after 4 weeks in NICU. She is doing amazing, she is very clingy to me and tends to get herself upset when I'm not there unless she is with my mum. I'm suppose to be going back to work next month and having panic attacks every time I think about it. The nightmares are getting worse and I'm not starting to have problems with my confidence as a partner, I'm scared he going to leave of cheat. My partner is great though, I had this when we first got together as I've been badly hurt emotional by my ex and he is so supportive don't know what I'd do without him TBH.

I have also lost 4 outta 5 grandparents between March 2015 and December 2015 and I think that's also part of why I'm freaking out about losing both my daughter and partner. 2015 was a very stressful and emotional year x
 
@Emmal88 Welcome! :)

So glad to read your daughter is doing better and your fears are understandable after all that happened. I hope you have counseling available to you and find this forum helpful to your healing.
 
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