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Medical Ptsd After Ruptured Ectopic Pregnancy?

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Nova87

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I have been having a very hard time lately. I don't really know who to talk to or what to do, thus I am reaching out here. In January of 2015, I wasn't feeling well. I had a doctor appointment that day with my psychiatrist. I am diagnosed with bipolar II disorder and generalized anxiety disorder as it is. Anyway, at this appointment, as I was talking to my doctor, I got terrible cramps and started asking to leave. I could barely hear anymore, I was in so much pain. I left her office and ran to the bathroom as I thought I was going to puke. Once there, I felt a huge amount of pain wash over me from head to toe and thought I was going to faint. I feel to the floor in front of the toilet and waited for it to pass. After it had passed, I felt a bit better, but thought it was weird so walked back into the office and asked them to call an ambulance for me. I didn't have a phone. I sat back down and waited for the paramedics. After what felt like a very long time, I started to think it was weird that no one had showed. I walked back to the desk and asked if they had called anyone. They said no, that they had called my psychiatrist. I told them this wasn't mental, that I was in a great deal of pain. They said okay, and I sat down. This whole time, I was doubled over with passing, horrible cramps. After a while, no one came still, so I went back up to the desk again. They said my psychiatrist was finishing up with her next patient and would be out soon. I sat down and waited again. She finally came out, told me I must feel embarrassed to be making such a scene and said I could wait in her office. Instead, they took me to a conference room with some guy I had never seen before, talked about me as if I wasn't in the room, and started trying to get a hold of my husband which is very hard to do because he is an arborist who works on site. No one took anything I said seriously. I was just some annoying patient being dramatic. Eventually, the got in touch with my husband. He informed them that I wasn't being dramatic and they should call an ambulance anyway. So, they finally did. My doctor made me feel embarrassed all the way out the door.

Once I got to the hospital, I was put in the hallway and waited without anyone even talking to me for quite some time. It was at least a couple hours before I was moved to a room. I know that this is how ERs go sometimes though. The doctor who did finally talk to me was brilliant though. I told he what was wrong and she asked if I could be pregnant. I said probably not because I was on birth control that I was very careful about (after having suffered a miscarriage only a couple months before, being pregnant again was something I was very serious about avoiding). She asked if my shoulder hurt too. I was surprised because it actually did. She said she thought it was an ectopic pregnancy which I thought was totally impossible. My husband showed up and I was wheeled into a room for an ultrasound. I was apologizing for being dramatic to him and he was reassuring me when the doctors started the ultrasound and started whispering to one another which made me freak out. Then a few more doctors showed up and they all were whispering very seriously. I started hearing things like "there's so much fluid in the abdomen here...and here...and here..." and really started to panic. I held my husband's hand like a vice. The doctors informed me that I had an ectopic pregnancy that had ruptured and I was bleeding internally. I couldn't believe it. I asked them if I should be scared and they weakly told me everything was going to be fine. I was shipped to another hospital.

By this point, it had been many hour since I first felt the worst of the pain. The bleeding was making the pain almost unbearable. They had me on morphine and I still writhed with any movement such as someone bumping into my gurney. Everything moved very fast after this. A surgeon was called in and talked to me briefly, telling me that they had to get me into surgery as quickly as they could and would have to remove the Fallopian tube, ovary, and the fetus. I saw the heartbeat on the screen when they did the ultrasound and felt awful. The last thing I remember is being wheeled to outside the OR and the nurses arguing about the urgency of the situation. One nurse pointed at me and said, "Look at her color! They need to hurry up!" The next thing I knew, I was opening my eyes to a room full of people, talking. I think I started to come to during surgery. I actually woke up trying to say something to them and realized I was alone in post op with my husband.

Recovery from this sucked, but not as much as I thought it would. I have a pretty nasty scar that still hurts even over a year later, but I can't complain. My psychiatrist never apologized for the way I was treated and even criticized me for making her job hard because I had had 2 pregnancies while trying to figure out medications. I left that practice and found another.

Anyway, I felt fine about this whole situation for a while. I was just glad to be alive. I already had 2 kids I wanted to be around for. But, about 6 months later, I started having a lot of chest pain and trouble breathing. I went to my PCP and they thought I had a blood clot in my lung and rushed me to the ER again for a chest CT. It was terrifying. They determined I was fine. When the breathing and chest pain issues wouldn't go away, they had me checked for asthma and such and I was fine. Then, in October of that year (9 months later) my husband revealed he had cheated on me. I was devastated. He had always been my rock. I also had to go off my psych meds again because they thought it might be interfering with my thyroid. I started to feel worse and worse. I have had my thyroid, stomach, heart, etc checked and nothing appears to be wrong. However, I feel sick constantly. I am nauseous after I eat, have terrible chest pain, feel like someone has their thumb on my throat all the time, pain in my joints, such terrible fatigue that I neglect things I love (such as playing with my kids), constant headaches. It causes me terror to the point that I lose sleep at least 3 nights a week. I just stay up crying, thinking about all the things I will miss if I die. I have been to the ER 7 times in the last year and a half out of panic. Medical bills are looming. I don't know what to do. I can't talk myself down from the fear I feel. I have been 100% convinced that I was having a stroke/heart attack/had cancer, etc... I don't trust my doctors to care or listen to me. It has been so bad, I started reading about coping with terminal illness and finally thought better or it. But, it seems to get worse with time instead of better. I just don't know what to do anymore. The thought that this all might be some manifestation of PTSD only recently occurred to me. But I feel like what I've been through is really not that bad. I don't know though...
 
I have been having a very hard time lately. I don't really know who to talk to or what to do, thus I am...
Wow, what an eventful year you've had. I'm so sorry for all you've been through. I can't really say whether what you describe is PTSD or not, it certainly sounds like extreme anxiety with an ocd type theme (obsession with death &,dying). Have you spoken to your psychiatrist about all of this? I know I went through a severe spell of worrying obsessively about my health and dying after the birth of my first child. I have OCD.

Have you any support from family or friends?
 
Personally I would contact a lawyer. Your Psych. is a medical doctor, and should have recognized the medi...

I thought about it but we have no money for that kind of thing and it was so long ago now. I fear not being able to win such a case.
 
Wow, what an eventful year you've had. I'm so sorry for all you've been through. I can't really say...

I have another appointment with my psychiatrist tomorrow actually. I have a couple people I have talked to, but no one who really understands. I don't want to incriminate my husband as we are trying to work it out so I can't talk to my family. Therapy hasn't done much good either.
 
I plan to. It doesn't seem there is much to do about it. I cannot take most anti anxiety medications as I have a history of addiction. I hope I am wrong though and there is something to take that will make this better.
 
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Did your psychiatrist diagnose you with PTSD, or who did?

I will be talking to my psychiatrist for the first time about this tomorrow. No official diagnosis. Just something I have been talking over with my therapist.
 
Hi. I too have suffered a terrifyingly similar situation while pregnant with my first child at 42 weeks gestation my placenta ruptured during labor. . . Or a few days before (doc didn't believe me when I told her how much I was bleeding bright red blood just days before )...anyway, it's very scary. I had tons of panic attacks and fear of having heart attacks too. I hurt my legg at some point, a muscle, a nerve or something It's never been the same. I flat lined during the surgery. My beautiful baby girl was born with a heartbeat of only 62. She took some breaths and left this world. Although I have suffered horrid child abuse and domestic violence, I include this incident into my PTSD. If you find yourself reliving it, if you avoid pregnant women, if you avoid verbalizing that trauma... those are my PTSD symptoms I had. I don't trust doctors. I can't stand hearing Hillary Clintons voice as it sounds just like that doctors voice. Anyway your pain was very real and very tramatic to YOU. Don't compare it really just minimizes the extent of what you went through. It was painful, lonely, terrifying, and you suffered a couple of losses at once a little one with a heartbeat and some very special female parts,. I am glad to hear you are greatful for the children you now have. Enjoy moments with them. I do with mine and I have to be intent and focused at times. . . and those moments become very special. Take your time grieving your loss. With my undiagnosed, untreated mental illnesses it took me a few years to get to a place where I was able to talk about it without totally losing my kudos. That was 10 years ago. I will never get over it, but with the help of therapy I am learning to enjoy the here and now. If you feel the need to reach out to me at any time please feel free. Take Care.
 
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