• 💖 [Donate To Keep MyPTSD Online] 💖 Every contribution, no matter how small, fuels our mission and helps us continue to provide peer-to-peer services. Your generosity keeps us independent and available freely to the world. MyPTSD closes if we can't reach our annual goal.

Relationship Ptsd And Love

Status
Not open for further replies.
My girlfriend of 2 1/2 years has ptsd which reared it's ugly head six months into our relationship, long after I had fallen madly head over heals in love with her. At first neither of us knew what was happening, we were frightened and confused (we still are much of the time) but after finding the diagnosis and reading about ptsd we are beginning to make progress in healing. Ptsd stole my girlfriend and placed her in hell. I could barely stand to watch her suffer. Now, after 2 years of dealing with all of the symptoms, ptsd has stolen my life and placed me in a kind of hell as well. I have realized that if I'm going to support her I have to be much stronger and learn as much about ptsd as possible. The more I learn about ptsd (for me the scientific/medical causes has been especially helpful) the easier it is to cope with the angry outbursts, 15 hour screaming sessions and a tongue that cuts like a knife. Intimacy is the hardest part, and I am looking forward to many discussions here with other supporters regarding intimacy and coping with the confusing anger/hatred/rage that comes at me sometimes, even though I know she loves me.

Anyone who has suggestions for books or media, anything, regarding ptsd and especially healing please write.

Thank you and good luck to everyone
 
Last edited by a moderator:
Hi there,

I am so sorry to hear about what you are both going through, PTSD can be hard to deal with from all angles. Trust me.

But supporting someone through this isn't just about learning everything you can about it, its also about making sure that you make time for yourself as well so you don't get lost. A lot of the hurtful things she says are not about you, they are just aimed at you because you are there, so don't take them to heart. If she needs to shout and scream, let her, trust me, sometimes it helps. If it all gets too much, go for a walk for a while, but remember to come back to her.

When she's feeling a little better, ask her what she needs you to do to help her, the answer will sometimes be that she just doesn't know, because at that moment, she just doesn't. Give her time when she needs it, give her hugs when she needs them too, but don't force them on her, allow her to take the lead. She probably needs to feel in control of something when she feels she has no control over what happening to her.

If she wants to talk about it, listen, but bear in mind that it can be hard to hear. If she's not ready to talk, then wait until she is.

She will have days when she feels better and days when she feels like the world is caving in around her. Make the most of the good days.

The intimacy depends a great deal on what trauma caused the PTSD.

I know I've probably said everything you already know, but this is such a complex thing, and all sufferers, although experiencing some of the same symptoms, have different triggers and coping strategies, there is no one size fits all when it comes to PTSD.

I hope this helps.
 
Part of your discussions should be that you will need a "time out" as well. She needs them, you need them..frankly, everyone does. You need to be able to walk away, take care of yourself or you are no good to her. You'll drain yourself emotionally and mentally.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top