Hi, this is something that has weighed on my mind for some time. I wasn't diagnosed with PTSD until I was 19 and always figured the traumatic things that caused it happened when I was 16-17 but I had a lot of unsettling behavior as a young child and I worry that even at that age I had it. However my big puzzle is that I have no idea what would have caused me to develop PTSD that early on....anyways could you take a look at my story and see if you think the same? Or if you had ptsd as a young child was it similar? Thank you.
As a child frequently I struggled with intense fear for my safety, especially at night time. This lead to me developing things like rituals to try to keep myself safe that I'd stay up all night doing or hiding in different areas of the house because my room didn't feel safe. I would even get what I now recognize as panic attacks this fear was so overwhelming. I also dealt with hyperarousal and was constantly looking for threats. I had horrible and graphic nightmares with content that should not really have been in the dreams of someone that young. I had a strange desire to trap and hurt things and I'd act out these wishes with my toys, I'd put them all in cages, and my mom remembers being unnerved when in a workbook of mine I drew cages around every single character in them. I also had a number of nervous tics.
I just have no idea what could have traumatized me. My worst fear is that something terrible happened to me as a child and I repressed it which then caused all my subsequent mental health issues throughout my life.
As a child frequently I struggled with intense fear for my safety, especially at night time. This lead to me developing things like rituals to try to keep myself safe that I'd stay up all night doing or hiding in different areas of the house because my room didn't feel safe. I would even get what I now recognize as panic attacks this fear was so overwhelming. I also dealt with hyperarousal and was constantly looking for threats. I had horrible and graphic nightmares with content that should not really have been in the dreams of someone that young. I had a strange desire to trap and hurt things and I'd act out these wishes with my toys, I'd put them all in cages, and my mom remembers being unnerved when in a workbook of mine I drew cages around every single character in them. I also had a number of nervous tics.
I just have no idea what could have traumatized me. My worst fear is that something terrible happened to me as a child and I repressed it which then caused all my subsequent mental health issues throughout my life.