Peer support subsequent to trauma contributes to full recovery

Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) -- including complex trauma (cPTSD) -- is debilitating, breaking down the body through anxiety and stress, and it poses a significant suicide risk in sufferers. MyPTSD seeks to help and inform those who are directly or indirectly affected by these conditions through peer-to-peer support and educational resources.

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PTSD From Abusive Relationship

Discussion in 'Introductions' started by soren, Aug 19, 2008.

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  1. soren

    soren New Member

    Hello everyone,

    I am new also, and hoping to find much needed support here. I have been diagnosed for 11 months now, and still am trying to comprehend it all. My PTSD is from an 18 year abusive marriage that is still in the divorce process. He is still abusing me through the legal system. I have so many triggers that it is nearly impossible for me to earn a living for me and my children, even though I have a college degree. How do other single parent sufferers handle earning a living.

    Almost everyone around me just either laughs at my PTSD diagnosis, or tells me it's in my head, or just suck it up and get over it, or quit playing the victim. I cannot find any peers at all that understand my reactions to the triggers. I am hoping to find that connection here.
    Whitneys story likes this.
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  3. blue_eyed_angel

    blue_eyed_angel Well-Known Member

    Welcome to the forum Soren :)
    Whitneys story likes this.
  4. piri

    piri New Member

    Welcome to the forum :smile:

    I think you have made a great step to join us! This is the best place to find understanding and comfort. I'm still quite new to this, and I haven't posted so much, but I read a lot, and every day I find new topics about PTSD that I wasn't really aware of.

    Maybe the most important thing is to realise that my friends will never understand this, and I've found confidence here to let these friendships fade out! I'm going trough this, and have to live with it every day (and night). I've decided to only keep those friends that accept this.

    "Almost everyone around me just either laughs at my PTSD diagnosis, or tells me it's in my head" Yeah! It's in our heads, where else? It's a brain damage! :wink:

    love from piri
    gizmo likes this.
  5. piri

    piri New Member

    Dear Soren...

    I hope you are hanging in there and are doing ok. You've been on my mind a lot the last days. I don't know where in the world you are, but I guess USA, and that's a looong way from Norway. So I just want you to know that there's a woman in Norway trying to send some long distant warm comforting hugs over the atlantic ocean! Hope they get through!

    I reread my last post to you, and I think it seems like I feel that cutting off friends is as easy as changing your underware. It's not. I know. It's very hard, and very lonely, and hard to feel lonely when you're filled with terror and fear. But you need people around you that support you and validate your trauma, it's very important for you if you're going to heal! And I think that the people that tell you otherwise just feed that inner voice in you that tells you that you are the one to blame, that doesn't really accept the depth of what you have gone through.

    kos fra piri (translated: cuddle from piri) :Hug_emoticon:
    Junebug and Whitneys story like this.
  6. void

    void I'm a VIP

    :hello:Welcome to the forum, Soren!

    I'm glad you found us and I know that there are many on this site who can relate to what you have experienced. I hope you find the support and peace that you need. :smile:

  7. 2quilt

    2quilt I'm a VIP

    Soren, you have come to the right place for healing! We are glad you are with us.

    Piri, I want to visit Norway someday, and maybe retire there. I live in the US now, but when my husband retires from work, we will have no health insurance, so Norway is looking pretty good right now. I have many illnesses and I will be too expensive to insure. Does Norway take political refugees from Bush's USA? (laugh)
  8. Rivergirl

    Rivergirl Active Member

    Hi Soren-----it's hard to have an illness that is invisible to others. I have found this as well, that my friends don't really see anything wrong with me. That's partially because I don't let them see or talk to me when I'm having a really bad day (I wouldn't be able to hold much of a conversation anyway, or drive anywhere to be with them). They only see me or talk to me when I'm doing fairly well. I have explained to them what my bad days are like, but since they don't see them they seem to totally forget what I've told them about my symptoms, and I suspect they think that I am faking it and wonder why I am off work when I seem (to them) just fine.

    Like chronic pain, PTSD is invisible to others so they just don't understand what it feels like or its devastating effects on how well you can function.

    Glad you've found this forum-----we are a community that will understand you here.

    a3a2 likes this.
  9. Auburngirl

    Auburngirl Well-Known Member

    Rivergirl - welcome. I also have PTSD out of Abuse, and share the frustration of people saying ' but you seem fine' (like you when I'm not fine I don't really leave the house, so no one sees me, or I get home and to bed as soon as possible).
  10. sandy

    sandy Member

    Same Here

    Soren, I too am new to the forum and also have PTSD because of a long term abusive relationship. I was married for 22 years and have been divorced for one year. It has been difficult, therapy has helped a lot but knowing I'm free from the abuse really keeps me going. My friends have pretty much given up on me and it gets a little bit lonely. I have found much comfort here, reading the writings of people who know what it is like to have PTSD. I'm glad you found the forum and I hope it helps you.

  11. Girl

    Girl New Member

    The best advise I received was that you cannot have a relationship with your abuser, so I did everything I could to keep my distance from my ex both during and after divorce. Now that my youngest has turned 18 I have blocked the ex's calls and emails. There are still triggers, but the distance reduces the triggers and provides relief. God bless and good luck.
    a3a2 likes this.
  12. Shellbell

    Shellbell I'm a VIP

    Hi soren,

    Welcome to the PTSD Forum :)

    It is really hard when the abuser can continue abuse through the legal system and through your children. I really feel for you so much.

    I hope you find the forum helpful and a support.

  13. Whitneys story

    Whitneys story My very own hug forever!

    Hi and Welcome to the Forum. As you can see we are quite friendly here. I am sorry for why you are here, and hope you find success in your journey. It takes time. Hugs if you accept them, Whitney
    gizmo and Shellbell like this.
  14. Ms Spock

    Ms Spock Being Brave, Much More Present
    Premium Member

    Welcome to the Forum soren!

    An abusive relationship resulting in PTSD is hard to deal with so take care of your self.
    Shellbell likes this.
  15. intothelight

    intothelight Just Being Me

    This is an intro from 2008.
  16. findinghelp21

    findinghelp21 New Member

    My abusive relationship was with my brother, he beat me everyday for 6 years in front of my parents growing up and now my parents hate me because I moved out at 17 to escape him. I have many triggers, like you do, so it makes life as a mother and a wife a very difficult one.

    • Cant pull my hair
    • Cant have normal t-shirts in case they tug on my neck
    • Cant have long hair in fear that someone will use it against me
    • No forceful grabbing or tugging or pushing
    • No masks for Halloween because I feel like I can't breath
    • No tight hugs because of a completely shattered, fractured and broken rib cage.

    The list goes on and on and it gets in the way- I guess what I am trying to say is you're not alone, PTSD is a real thing that you can't just get over- it takes years of therapy just to be able to cope with triggers. You need a support group- that's us- and you need a therapist who isn't going to drug you because of your PTSD. That only buries it- it doesn't solve it. I'm here if you ever need someone to talk to.
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