I think guilt-tripping is very passive aggressive and when you have family that reinforce the harmful feelings of guilt in your behavior, it is excruciatingly difficult to just let go. It becomes a practice of changing the guilt into positive feelings about your self.
Guilt is very much an affect of the self esteem but it would be unfair to say that you make yourself feel guilty because you have some self doubt issues. More accurately, it starts like a seed, the first time someone you trusted hurt your feelings, and the negative affirmations (guilt tripping) and hurtful comments are reinforcing the guilty feelings.
It helps to draw a new perspective and practice viewing it more objectively. For instance, try to see that people who say hurtful things to you do not understand what you are experiencing or have experienced. They cannot relate...and/or chose not to...and if they do not show support by research or kindness then they behave, in a very literal sense, out of self-preserving ignorance. If this behavior seems to repeat itself most often within some of your family dynamic, it hurts more than if a friend or stranger said it. Why would your family not want to support you more positively, right? Likely, they might even feel guilty about some aspect of what has happened...maybe they feel guilty they can't understand more clearly...so they transfer the guilt to the "victim". It is not healthy behavior. But once you can see that some of that guilt is manipulative and hurting you, and not you hurting you, it will be easier to stand your ground, create healthier boundaries, and define your healing process.
Do take care...and take the time you need for yourself now. Being alive is about being you, not about pacifying others or even paying back emotional debts. (Those debts are the ruses of guilt.) ;-)
Guilt is very much an affect of the self esteem but it would be unfair to say that you make yourself feel guilty because you have some self doubt issues. More accurately, it starts like a seed, the first time someone you trusted hurt your feelings, and the negative affirmations (guilt tripping) and hurtful comments are reinforcing the guilty feelings.
It helps to draw a new perspective and practice viewing it more objectively. For instance, try to see that people who say hurtful things to you do not understand what you are experiencing or have experienced. They cannot relate...and/or chose not to...and if they do not show support by research or kindness then they behave, in a very literal sense, out of self-preserving ignorance. If this behavior seems to repeat itself most often within some of your family dynamic, it hurts more than if a friend or stranger said it. Why would your family not want to support you more positively, right? Likely, they might even feel guilty about some aspect of what has happened...maybe they feel guilty they can't understand more clearly...so they transfer the guilt to the "victim". It is not healthy behavior. But once you can see that some of that guilt is manipulative and hurting you, and not you hurting you, it will be easier to stand your ground, create healthier boundaries, and define your healing process.
Do take care...and take the time you need for yourself now. Being alive is about being you, not about pacifying others or even paying back emotional debts. (Those debts are the ruses of guilt.) ;-)