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PTSD - If You Could Draw It Or Describe It - What Would It Look Like

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kaydee

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Hi

I am relatively new to the forum and while working through some of my issues with PTSD (carer) I have been trying to draw and visualize PTSD (I am an Artist and I guess that is where it started).

I thought it may help me to put some things in perspective, but now that I have started I realize that it may be a drawing which changes and has things rubbed out, added, enlarged and reduced.

But for a start - here goes (no drawing to date, I hope that will come later even if it is just for me)

The whole setting is mainly shades of gray.

Its shape is oozing (the size modulates from big and looming to long and tenuous), Its outline ripples with sharpness then flattens in spots and becomes almost furry.

Its physical form is quite solid but is surrounded by a gray mist which swirls down its form, there are flashes of color (red, blue, deep purple, yellow) every now and then.

It is surrounded by puddles which have reflections in them.
 
Hi Kaydee,

I have a piece of artwork I only take out when the PTSD has completely overwhelmed me for so long that I can't find up. I take it out when no one else is around and work a bit more on it. At the moment the main feature is a mass of thick twisted rope - at one end it begins in a vortex and at the other the rope edges begin to unravel. I use pen and ink for this. The rope is in dark brown and although smooth lines characterise the twisting, the textures which make up the ropes are jaggered and raw. Strange, plant like things emerge in deep green from the rope, also twisted and angular and huge fissures make up the background. The whole piece began as an expression of emotion - it evolves as I work on it and I only work on it when my body feels knotted and twisted so badly that I feel I can't even walk in a strait line - like a car with the alignment off ... blah! - luckily, I haven't needed to get it out in a long, long time. It stays hidden till I need it and in the mean time I onky work on things which make me smile as I don't want to dwell on all that negativity.

I would love to see your piece when it is complete - if you feel like sharing it - post it up for us to see. Art helps express what words cannot and I often find release in seeing other people's art, reading their poetry or listening to the music they create - what a wonderful gift creativity is!

Blessings on your journey to health.
:Hug_emoticon:
Shiraz
 
Thank you Shiraz

What a beautiful description (if I can use those words) I feel I can actually see what you are talking about.

I am glad you haven't worked on it for a long while.

The idea was of this thread was not to be negative but maybe see another side of PTSD and I thank you again for sharing.

My own art is quite different from the PTSD image I am trying to draw (I somehow think it will be more of an animation in the end).

On a positive note I have attached a couple of my favorite photos which I like to look at when I need a boost.
 

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When my anxiety gets too bad..I visualize a beach, the waters roaring and a sunset...my safe place, I guess.

If picturing PTSD....on a bad day... picture a big black hole or I picture myself crawling out of the big hole and then I picture people stepping on my hands every time I get to the top....Focusing on the other picture is probably the better of the two....staying positive is hard some days though.
 
I imagine PTSD as a heavy over coat. It weighs me down. It gets in my way and drags me down. Its heaped on to me and makes it hard to stand up stright.
 
I have a much easier time with auditory mediums than with visual mediums in describing things. I guess it's just easier for me to feel through music.

When my PTSD is at its worst it's loud, pounding, overwhelming, attention demanding. Like my mind is having a kicking and screaming toddler-like temper tantrum. The one visual thing that I associate with PTSD is the famous painting 'The Scream'.

Lisa
 
Like Claire I saw it as a heavy weight being worn, but I saw it as a huge weight on the back attached to the shoulders, a band round the head with a weight hanging from the forehead and more weights hooked into the muscles of the legs and arms.
 
My first therapy related drawing of PTSD was of me in an Iron Maiden (one of those 18th century torture contraptions full of stakes that stabbed you and let you bleed slowly to death).
 
They say a picture (or in this case a description) paints a thousand words.

I feel I can relate to each image here.
 
What does my PTSD look like...interesting question. While I am very visual, I'm also pretty verbal so...hmmm...

On a bad day, I'd say it's all of these at once:

It's Sisyphus, with his endless punishment of incredible exertion resulting in nothing attained.

It's the white noise on a tv, turned all the way up.

It's a spinning top, the striped pattern swirling over and over, never ending.

It's a lab rat on amphetamines, running running running, trying to find a way out.

It is the empty desert, dry, without color or beauty, bleached and drained of life. Echoing, empty, endless.

It is the winter of the soul: bitter and cold and without comfort or solace.

It is the fawn, left motherless, and the wolves are closing in.
 
Ohh, it changes so much...

but for now: black scratches with a red gash through the middle

I like Claire's analogy of the heavy black coat. That's really what it feels like sometimes.
 
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