My story begins about 13 months ago, when I met the love of my life. She and I began dating, quickly fell in love and began to plan a life together. There was an undeniable connection that occurred instantly and has remained to this day.
We met in December. Two months prior she found a very close friend of hers, actually someone she also dated briefly after he committed suicide. She was by herself when she found him. She described it in horrific detail.
When we first met she would talk about it, but she seemed okay. But she and I experienced a loss in our relationship and it sent her over the edge. She left and moved across the country, to find peace and to find herself. I stuck by her, it was a temporary move and we continued a long distance relationship. It was about this time that she started to talk about flashbacks and nightmares and she seemed on edge a lot. She also became extremely critical of me. We made it through several months of this. She came home to visit and was extremely suspicious, but stated she was still committed to being with me forever. We spent 2 rocky but wonderful weeks together. Then she went home, only to send me a letter 2 weeks later ending the relationship, saying we were too different.
I immediately flew out to see her to see if we could work things out. She said she just needed some space. I came home, 4 days later she told me she had been diagnosed with PTSD.
I immediately began learning about PTSD. I supported her through letters and cards. Would call her occasionally. I didn't hear anything for almost 2 months. Then she called me crying she had moved back home. I could tell she was struggling.
I extended myself to her and gave to her to help her get up on her feet. However I also pushed to see her and after about a month she stopped talking to me. Eventually moved out of the place I had let her stay in because "I am dating again."
This left me heart broken but I left her a message telling her I respected her decision, and I hope we could talk again one day as she was so special to me.
Months went by, she called once and asked to get together. When I called back she didn't respond.
Finally a few weeks ago she called me. We talked for a couple of hours. She said I am the only one to ever love her unconditionally, she wanted to see me, the problem was her not me. She tried to date and couldn't.
So I went to see her last weekend. It was wonderful to see her. It was also very painful. She has lost so much weight, and her hair is thinning. I can see the physical and emotional toll it has taken on her. There was some intimacy, hand holding, hugs, and some kissing. I think I moved to fast as she backed off and said that she wants to take things slow. She promised me we would see eachother again soon and not to worry and not obsess about it. I called her a few days ago haven't heard from her in a week.
I don't know what to do, I love her, I want to have a life with her someday, I have stuck by her throughout this. I just wonder if this is hopeless. I realize I have to let her come to me when she is ready. I just fear this may never happen. I would and will do anything for her. She says she has never known love like I have shown her.
Any advice, Is there hope for us? She has had some therapy. She is not on any meds right now. We live 3 hours apart now, which may be a good thing. I want to share my life with her so bad....She states she was mean to me to push me away, so that I could have the life I deserve to have.
Hanging on for dear life.....
We met in December. Two months prior she found a very close friend of hers, actually someone she also dated briefly after he committed suicide. She was by herself when she found him. She described it in horrific detail.
When we first met she would talk about it, but she seemed okay. But she and I experienced a loss in our relationship and it sent her over the edge. She left and moved across the country, to find peace and to find herself. I stuck by her, it was a temporary move and we continued a long distance relationship. It was about this time that she started to talk about flashbacks and nightmares and she seemed on edge a lot. She also became extremely critical of me. We made it through several months of this. She came home to visit and was extremely suspicious, but stated she was still committed to being with me forever. We spent 2 rocky but wonderful weeks together. Then she went home, only to send me a letter 2 weeks later ending the relationship, saying we were too different.
I immediately flew out to see her to see if we could work things out. She said she just needed some space. I came home, 4 days later she told me she had been diagnosed with PTSD.
I immediately began learning about PTSD. I supported her through letters and cards. Would call her occasionally. I didn't hear anything for almost 2 months. Then she called me crying she had moved back home. I could tell she was struggling.
I extended myself to her and gave to her to help her get up on her feet. However I also pushed to see her and after about a month she stopped talking to me. Eventually moved out of the place I had let her stay in because "I am dating again."
This left me heart broken but I left her a message telling her I respected her decision, and I hope we could talk again one day as she was so special to me.
Months went by, she called once and asked to get together. When I called back she didn't respond.
Finally a few weeks ago she called me. We talked for a couple of hours. She said I am the only one to ever love her unconditionally, she wanted to see me, the problem was her not me. She tried to date and couldn't.
So I went to see her last weekend. It was wonderful to see her. It was also very painful. She has lost so much weight, and her hair is thinning. I can see the physical and emotional toll it has taken on her. There was some intimacy, hand holding, hugs, and some kissing. I think I moved to fast as she backed off and said that she wants to take things slow. She promised me we would see eachother again soon and not to worry and not obsess about it. I called her a few days ago haven't heard from her in a week.
I don't know what to do, I love her, I want to have a life with her someday, I have stuck by her throughout this. I just wonder if this is hopeless. I realize I have to let her come to me when she is ready. I just fear this may never happen. I would and will do anything for her. She says she has never known love like I have shown her.
Any advice, Is there hope for us? She has had some therapy. She is not on any meds right now. We live 3 hours apart now, which may be a good thing. I want to share my life with her so bad....She states she was mean to me to push me away, so that I could have the life I deserve to have.
Hanging on for dear life.....