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PTSD Tough Deal - Memories and Triggers

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Noone.

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I have to go to work tomorrow so I'm reminded of things every day. I was washing dishes after the morning meal and our window faces the approach {driveway} when I looked out to see a women running toward the engine house carrying something in a blanket, I knew exactly what I would be doing 20 seconds from now. He died in my arms his name was Neal he was 4 months old. That was 1 hour out of 1 day I've been doing this for 15 years I'll drive over that approch tomorrow I'll wash dishes in that sink and I will never forget the loss. Gotta go role call in a few hours be safe.
 
Remembering things like that must make it hard to do your job sometimes. Do you want to talk more about it?
 
As a former VFF, I know about the feelings you're having though I do not know specifically about that type of incident or feelings.

You're in my prayers.
 
I just want to say that you're also in my prayers. I won't pretend to identify with all of the stress that your job puts on you. I can only imagine the sense of powerlessness that one must feel in the situation that you've described.

I grew up in the streets of an inner city, and I've seen friends, die and I've seen people do horrible things to each other.

What helps me is my faith. I don't understand all the where's and whys of life, but I've found that if I focus on my faith it helps a lot. I tend to grow hot and cold in my faith, and it takes a good amount of discipline to practice it at times. When I do practice it I find great comfort in it.

John
 
Hey thanks for the response wasn't sure if what I was writing actualy was going anywhere. Busy night we have an arsonist in training on the old south end and he's learning fast, lite up six structures in a 5 hour period, the good news is only one of my friends were hurt, but he'll be ok, so I guess it's a win. see ya...
 
PTSD Tough Deal

Tuesday garbage day. My best friend Iggy and I were riding 9s engine when we received a call for an unconscious person, we figured somebody woke up dead, but then dispatch updated the text to a pediatric, right away your thinking SIDS but hoping for the best. When we got there I seen the father on the porch smoking a cigarette, the mother in the kitchen on her cell, their were two small children watching sponge bob square pants on the couch, while their 6 month young brother lay dead at their feet surrounded by chicken bones and old cigarette butts. Iggy an I tried to save the little one but we were to late, he was starting to pool his pupils one fixed and the other blown raised red flags in our heads. Then I gave the mother what I thought would be horrible news "Mam your son has passed away I'm terribly sorry". Her response to me was "You can take that out with the trash!". Tuesday garbage day.
 
John thank you for your response discipline is a hard thing to master but I find people even more puzzling We're all born with the fight or flight, it sounds to me like you fight and i'm all over that. see ya.
 
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