I'm in a relationship (6years)
With a ptsd spouse and I also suffer from severe depression and suicidal thoughts due partly because of our relationship and also because of a trauma I went through 2.5 years ago.
Our problems started after six months of being together : sex stopped. At first it became monthly then yearly thing. He is the refuser.
Our problem is that he is habitual liar. I caught him sending sex msg and flirting with young women in front of me, even if he knowingly made me cry because of his crude way of refusing sex completely.
He apparently has ptsd and I do want to believe it however I haven't witnessed any of the symptoms associated with ptsd?
No flashbacks? no anger? no nightmares? he says he has them but never in six years I have seen him having any.
we are in each other pockets and used to get along so well like best friends, never fought about anything but this sex issue.
He wasn't drinker at all we had no alcohol in the house as I hated the idea of it as a child of alcoholics, but to his doc he said he was a heavy drinker.
He says he can't concentrate and cant muster up the energy to have sex but has no problem of doing the things that matter to him like flying , studying etc.
He had a list of PTSD symptoms on his iPad and for me it struck odd as I have gone through hell with depression and I don't need a list to memorize about the symptoms as I experience it daily.
During this time he has completely left me on my own devices cutting arms in shower and screaming in rage and crying for despair because of a trauma that happened to me.
But he just walks away. I'm embarrassed to admit this but I truly hit rock bottom for a while and my friend was only one who saw things weren't right.my partner saw but chose to ignore it.
My partner has never said anything about it. I listen to him , rub his back and postpone my life so he can have his and when I needed him he walked away. It broke my heart.
I had a doctors appointment in related to what happened to me and I walked out of there in a mix of rage and completely lost control of myself on the way to the car. I was in such despair after hearing nothing can't be done. I just wanted to die right there and then.
Two hours in the car and he just calmly drove never said anything while I sobbed in the passenger seat.
I don't know if this is just him being a narcissist or is he truly having ptsd? I'm so confused! For a long time I thought he is a narcissist. But I can't be sure and I want to understand if ptsd is sometimes like this?
I have read the sufferers often block themselves out and that could explain it but I'm uneasy about knowing he fibbed about his drinking to the psych.
Sometimes I think he decided to claim it to be the same as his brother, a war hero or just get the benefits.
He is very clever at driving me up the wall by gaslighting me and then portrays himself as the innocent victim and I'm now an outcast for leaving a war veteran basically.
But I can't deal with lies and complete disregard for our relationship.
He used to say how he never was promoted and he was a bit ashamed of it, had nothing to show for his service. He did witness things but when he tells others about loud noises I'm thinking wow he never reacts in anyway it's me who is the jumpy one.
He watches porn and masturbates but lies about it. He has a brother who also suffers from ptsd and he seems to be genuinely rattled and experiencing genuine problems associated with ptsd, however my partner just is cool as a cucumber.
No raising of the voice nothing just pleasant lies. I just can't stand the sight of him anymore I had to sleep on the couch and have done so for the past six months and I'm moving out in a month.
Also he is fine in the house when it's two of us, however is someone comes to visit he turns into this sulky person and when they person says hello how are you he always does the same act , like he is beaten man and do sad but as son as they leave he is fine again.
It's a known thing with my friends that as soon as they come my partner will give them the sad treatment and then go about whistling around the house when they are gone.
His mother is a bit same she is very self centred in a sense that she needs attention one way or another, and living through her son is one of them and I think my partner in turn gets a kick out of its hard to explain.
But my partner it seems that he lies a lot , hides phone, iPad and email. He refuses to discuss about lack of sex but then pretends he doesn't know what the problem is and forgets the conversation next day. After pouring my heart out time and time again trying to talk to him about it and find a solution but he just wants to end the convo and lies like nothing!
But he starts crying if I'm leaving and begs me to stay promises he will see a doc and gets us some help. But it only lasts until I agree to stay and then it's back to same old.
Six years and never he told me I was beautiful but often says he loves me, loves to cuddle and hold hands. But my feelings don't seem to matter he will fall into sleep like a baby while I cry next to him.
But then he used to use sleeplessness as a reason to sleep on the couch as he is more comfy there but now I'm. Sure he masturbates.
I'm finally leaving after so many broken promises and lies I have many ultimatums and begged and pleaded. He is seeing a doc but the letter stated many other symptoms I have not witnessed but sexlessness was not mentioned .
I believe he is a porn addict and seem to have a taste for teens which freaks me out a bit as some of them look very young.
He never made love to me the sex was very porn orientated so that could be a symptom of ptsd but it's also very common with porn addicts. He never told me what he liked and refused to talk about it kind I was meant to know.
But dress up sexy pics did nothing just made him freak even more.
I am at loss trying to understand and get closure but I have no idea who this person is. I loved him so much and I burned myself pretty bad doing so.
I don't think its the ptsd that killed us but the lies and betrayal and complete lack of respect.
I'm sorry for the long post I'm completely gone crazy and cannot think straight this is bothering me so much I can't sleep at nights I get so angry.
With a ptsd spouse and I also suffer from severe depression and suicidal thoughts due partly because of our relationship and also because of a trauma I went through 2.5 years ago.
Our problems started after six months of being together : sex stopped. At first it became monthly then yearly thing. He is the refuser.
Our problem is that he is habitual liar. I caught him sending sex msg and flirting with young women in front of me, even if he knowingly made me cry because of his crude way of refusing sex completely.
He apparently has ptsd and I do want to believe it however I haven't witnessed any of the symptoms associated with ptsd?
No flashbacks? no anger? no nightmares? he says he has them but never in six years I have seen him having any.
we are in each other pockets and used to get along so well like best friends, never fought about anything but this sex issue.
He wasn't drinker at all we had no alcohol in the house as I hated the idea of it as a child of alcoholics, but to his doc he said he was a heavy drinker.
He says he can't concentrate and cant muster up the energy to have sex but has no problem of doing the things that matter to him like flying , studying etc.
He had a list of PTSD symptoms on his iPad and for me it struck odd as I have gone through hell with depression and I don't need a list to memorize about the symptoms as I experience it daily.
During this time he has completely left me on my own devices cutting arms in shower and screaming in rage and crying for despair because of a trauma that happened to me.
But he just walks away. I'm embarrassed to admit this but I truly hit rock bottom for a while and my friend was only one who saw things weren't right.my partner saw but chose to ignore it.
My partner has never said anything about it. I listen to him , rub his back and postpone my life so he can have his and when I needed him he walked away. It broke my heart.
I had a doctors appointment in related to what happened to me and I walked out of there in a mix of rage and completely lost control of myself on the way to the car. I was in such despair after hearing nothing can't be done. I just wanted to die right there and then.
Two hours in the car and he just calmly drove never said anything while I sobbed in the passenger seat.
I don't know if this is just him being a narcissist or is he truly having ptsd? I'm so confused! For a long time I thought he is a narcissist. But I can't be sure and I want to understand if ptsd is sometimes like this?
I have read the sufferers often block themselves out and that could explain it but I'm uneasy about knowing he fibbed about his drinking to the psych.
Sometimes I think he decided to claim it to be the same as his brother, a war hero or just get the benefits.
He is very clever at driving me up the wall by gaslighting me and then portrays himself as the innocent victim and I'm now an outcast for leaving a war veteran basically.
But I can't deal with lies and complete disregard for our relationship.
He used to say how he never was promoted and he was a bit ashamed of it, had nothing to show for his service. He did witness things but when he tells others about loud noises I'm thinking wow he never reacts in anyway it's me who is the jumpy one.
He watches porn and masturbates but lies about it. He has a brother who also suffers from ptsd and he seems to be genuinely rattled and experiencing genuine problems associated with ptsd, however my partner just is cool as a cucumber.
No raising of the voice nothing just pleasant lies. I just can't stand the sight of him anymore I had to sleep on the couch and have done so for the past six months and I'm moving out in a month.
Also he is fine in the house when it's two of us, however is someone comes to visit he turns into this sulky person and when they person says hello how are you he always does the same act , like he is beaten man and do sad but as son as they leave he is fine again.
It's a known thing with my friends that as soon as they come my partner will give them the sad treatment and then go about whistling around the house when they are gone.
His mother is a bit same she is very self centred in a sense that she needs attention one way or another, and living through her son is one of them and I think my partner in turn gets a kick out of its hard to explain.
But my partner it seems that he lies a lot , hides phone, iPad and email. He refuses to discuss about lack of sex but then pretends he doesn't know what the problem is and forgets the conversation next day. After pouring my heart out time and time again trying to talk to him about it and find a solution but he just wants to end the convo and lies like nothing!
But he starts crying if I'm leaving and begs me to stay promises he will see a doc and gets us some help. But it only lasts until I agree to stay and then it's back to same old.
Six years and never he told me I was beautiful but often says he loves me, loves to cuddle and hold hands. But my feelings don't seem to matter he will fall into sleep like a baby while I cry next to him.
But then he used to use sleeplessness as a reason to sleep on the couch as he is more comfy there but now I'm. Sure he masturbates.
I'm finally leaving after so many broken promises and lies I have many ultimatums and begged and pleaded. He is seeing a doc but the letter stated many other symptoms I have not witnessed but sexlessness was not mentioned .
I believe he is a porn addict and seem to have a taste for teens which freaks me out a bit as some of them look very young.
He never made love to me the sex was very porn orientated so that could be a symptom of ptsd but it's also very common with porn addicts. He never told me what he liked and refused to talk about it kind I was meant to know.
But dress up sexy pics did nothing just made him freak even more.
I am at loss trying to understand and get closure but I have no idea who this person is. I loved him so much and I burned myself pretty bad doing so.
I don't think its the ptsd that killed us but the lies and betrayal and complete lack of respect.
I'm sorry for the long post I'm completely gone crazy and cannot think straight this is bothering me so much I can't sleep at nights I get so angry.
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