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General Question for Carers - How do I Help My Husband Help Me

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nie

MyPTSD Pro
Hello,

Sorry to intrude on your posting place. My husband is really struggling with my PTSD. I have offered to find him books to read or on-line place to go, and his opposed. The other day he was upset and said that hi thinks that I feel like I have a "free ride" to be upset when I want because of my PTSD. We talked about it and he apologized. Anyway, I want to help him be a carer, but I don't know how. Suggestions?

Thanks,
Nie
 
If he is at all interested I would do my bet to get him to join the carers section of this site... I know it has helped me immensely with my partner- just knowing that I am not the only one!
Also, just explain to him that you have little to no control over your emotions, especially when stressed (if that is the case for you- as it is with my partner). I explained it to our families as 'you wouldn't expect a quadraplegic to start walking just because you wanted them to, Alex is an emotional quadraplegic'! That helped them to somewhat grasp the situation.
I hope that didn't offend anyone- I did ask Alex if that anology was ok with him for our families to hear and it was ok with him...
Tammy
 
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OMG Tammy! I love that analogy. I am going to use that too. Thanks!

Nie, I agree 100% with Tammy. This forum had taught me more as a carer than anything else I could have hoped for. In less than 3 days it "clicked" for me.

I gotta say though, you must be a fairly easy going (or well healed so far) PTSD sufferer to be able to turn the tables such that you end up being the voice of reason at a point like this. You stand of good chance of him being able to get a grasp on your condition if you are stable and approachable enough for him to say something like you think you've got "a free ride" and you not react quite extremely, withdraw etc. Tell him to consider himself lucky. (and no offence of course, it's a compliment)

Maybe remind him that you would swap all the "free rides" in the world for all you feel in your head and your heart from your PTSD and your trauma (not that I know what your story is, but it doesn't matter). That may help him see too.

But yeh! Get him on here, we'll look after him!:smile:
 
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