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Emerg Services Question On Isolation From A Supporter

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Nevada00

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Im surrounded by several loved ones who unfortunately suffer from PTSD and TBI due to combat/law enforcement. I haven't seen anything about this yet, but wanted to ask:
If you're a sufferer who copes through isolation periodically, would you feel comfortable sharing what it was that made you more comfortable to interact as you had prior to isolation? what was the timeframe for isolation with each? Thank you so much!
 
It depends on the reason I'm isolating - seasons, anniversaries of bad things, nightmares, anxiety, etc can all push me towards isolation.

Sometimes I push myself back out because I know it's not healthy, even though I don't necessarily feel ok being social I know I should. (ETA: Often I feel awkward the whole time and I'm not so sure if these events help or hurt me more, as I tend to want to isolate more afterwards.)

Sometimes I force myself to be social and find out it's not as bad as I thought, but I still relax with a book afterwards.
 
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As a sufferer, therapy and treatment for the symptoms that are fueling the isolation are key. Non-judgemental and not pushy family and friends help too. Peer support has been critical. Most of all, my personal inner commitment to keep trying helps... What will help your sufferers may vary. It might help to ask them and maybe throw out a few suggestions. Don't tell them what you think would help - but ask them, "does it help if...?"

This might be a helpful poll on how long period of isolation/shut outs can last for sufferers:
https://www.myptsd.com/threads/how-long-do-shut-outs-last.61429/
 
For me, the time frame varies so much depending on the situation. Just as a blanket answer, Id say I needed to feel safe, not judged, accepted, cared about.

The ones that didnt change and just waited were the ones i never went back to as there was a reason i felt i needed to get away.

I never had a chance of therapy with any of them but certianly therapy individual and also couples therapy is one wonderful thing as then both can make the changes needed to feel loved and supported on each side. Id do that even if its not a couple. My dad comes to my therapy sessions when i ask him to. That way you both can individully and also together talk things out and make the necessary steps.

Lastly, and I think a lot of supporters forget this, self care is very important. Take care of yourself as well.

ETA: Oh yes, I also agree that someone being pushy about it is pushing me further away. I think that poll that @Justmehere made is wonderful as it really contains a lot of wonderful information!
 
I feel most comfortable reaching out again when I personally feel safe. If I fear the other person is going to be mad at me for isolating or I'm going to get rebound smothering, possibly demanded to explain------I won't reconnect.

Typical isolation times don't exist across all people with PTSD. I'm a notorious short term isolator. Sometimes it lasts longer, but usually it's on the magnitude of days (not weeks or months). Other people are the opposite. Some are all over the map and there is no typical isolation time. IMHO to give you a timeframe would be doing you a great disservice as I'm guessing that you're asking in order to be given a bit of hope as to when they may come back. Unfortunately nobody can determine these timeframes----I think a better approach perhaps would be to focus on yourself. Can you handle these isolation periods? What would help you get through times of no contact?
 
Im surrounded by several loved ones who unfortunately suffer from PTSD and TBI due to combat/law enfor...

PTSD and brain injury is a horrid combination. Many of the symptoms overlap. The physical injury of the brain can make things worse.

I isolate because the brain injury issues can make it hard for me to interact socially, especially in groups. I have problems "tuning out" sensory input so get confused and anxious. I also miss social cues. But every TBI is different.

One thing that really helps with both for me is having a routine. The structure helps keep things "normal." If I'm going somewhere new or with a lot of sensory input, having someone with me helps.

Doing yoga or tai chi daily lowers the anxiety a bit. I'm actually really relaxed after.

Make sure to take care of yourself as well. You can't help if you're totally drained. And you need a life away from PTSD Land. It's ok to take a break and do something for yourself. Daily, if you can. It can be something small.
 
I feel most comfortable reaching out again when I personally feel safe. If I fear the other perso...
Oh I'm great! Lol so much less stressed. The flip side of the coin has my two little ones so then I'm somewhat forced to communicate and I'm not able to give the space I would LOVE to give. We've been all over the map too-- two days, three weeks, two months.. I'm ok with being a completely dedicated supporter because I believe I have been for about 10 years.. The struggle for me is the denial my vet has during these "cycles" that PTSD/TBI even exist in these situations. each time he comes back he acknowledges that it was something that triggered him and he didn't know what he was really thinking.
 
As others mentioned, isolation can be different lengths of time depending on the circumstance. Mostly, what has helped me, was:
  • not having any pressure to come out of isolation,
  • People respecting my boundaries of wanting no contact and
  • being able to know I am safe, when I come out of isolation.
I don't think there is any recipe of the length of time because everyone's brain calms down from a trigger, at different speads.
 
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would you feel comfortable sharing what it was that made you more comfortable to interact as you had prior to isolation?

What made me feel comfortable to interact prior or lack of, is not even remotley related to the reason I am isolating and has zero impact on isolation.
 
Thank you all for sharing! Im sure it's not easy sometimes to talk about. Since my little ones are young, I'm struggling with allowing them to go wherever my Sufferer wants to go to visit with them, although the T recommends visits at the house to keep consistency and their comfort level at a certain place. I keep hearing things like "I want my new daddy. I love my daddy but he's not coming home so we need a new one for me." No idea where she heard the term "new daddy" but it breaks my heart. ;(
 
It depends, I have friends and peers in my inner most circle and I feel totally comfortable with them though at times I may be unable to fully participate in activities. The most isolating event of late was losing two therapists in four days, that had me locked up beating my head against the wall and threatening to jump out the window. Then they handed me off to a new therapist and expect me to start all over again after five months. Its the system, the one size fits all approach to therapy at the VA doesn't work, everybody is different, they need to be more flexible. I don't blame my therapists, they were overloaded and overworked. Its easy to see why men and women just get fed up and walk away. So the isolation was imposed on me by the very system that is supposed to help me.
 
the T recommends visits at the house to keep consistency and their comfort level at a certain place.
This seems like a very sensible recommendation. Is is hard for your keep this boundary? Does your children's father object to this boundary?

Consistently might help both the kids and their father.

As far as tall of a new daddy, kids engage in very concrete and "magical" thinking and it's likely they are just trying to process what is happening. The more steady and consistent you can be, the more easily they will work through it.
 
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