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I think generally most get into the industry BECAUSE they care.
A high level of empathy would be pretty much mandatory.

It used to choke me up when I would see my psychiatrists eyes go red and well up while i was discussing my trauma.
It was so comforting, especially given he was a man and i did not know men could feel so deeply.

Unless you feel like your therapist seems totally disconnected I think its safe to just assume they care but maybe discussing your desire in session would give you clarity?
 
How would I know my therapist cares? Is there anything I could say or do more to feel cared for???[/Q...
Hey Snowflake,

First, I would say that it's not how much *you* say or do that determines whether your therapist cares. It's what *s/he* says or does that determines it. I think you are there to be cared for.

Also, for what it's worth to you, i.e. feel free to disregard my response, but I would ask you to ask yourself:

1) how you have know that other caregivers (doctors, family, friends) have cared for you (things they have said or done)

2) to come up with one or more criteria for this that apply for all of them

3) whether your current therapist displays this caring

I wish you the best in your journey.
 
I suppose you could ask. But that may feel uncomfortable for you. How long have you been seeing your therapist? I struggle with this one too. I think it's the little things she says that make me feel like she cares. Eg. I have been thinking about you. Or I enjoy working with you. It's hard to feel cared for when you don't know what it feels like. Does that make sense?
 
Ask if he/she cares for you. Have a direct conversation. If you fear you're just a paycheck and wasting his/her time, say so and listen to the answers and believe what is said. Maybe you both can come up with a list of things that will help you feel more cared for in and out of session. If I'm feeling insecure between sessions I send T a photo or meme and her one word response - usually thanks - is enough to reassure me.
 
Do you have any evidence telling you right now that they don't care? (I struggling with this issue as well, on and off - this is a question that helps me)

And - what would proof of caring look like? In other words, what would make it clear for you that they do care?
 
Do you have any evidence telling you right now that they don't care? (I struggling with this...


I don't know-I ask myself the same question. At times she appears interested in me and my life but if I regress or shut down-I feel I lose her interest in me. She use to write positive notes on cards for me to take she has stopped that. Maybe I should buy her sticky notes -hearts, stars. Lol

A hug would be nice.
 
I wonder if your loss of her interest in you is a symptom of you being shut down or regressed? If she's generally close and caring and you know you shut down, it may be worth telling her when you start to feel she is distant so that she can identify that you might not be fully present in your session and help you ground yourself again?
 
if I regress or shut down-I feel I lose her interest in me.
This would be a really great way to start a conversation with her about this. I can tell you know that feelings aren't facts, but it doesn't make them less powerful sometimes.
She use to write positive notes on cards for me to take she has stopped that.
And this is a great way to talk about how you responded positively to that, and to ask her if she'd be willing to build that into your treatment plan, and even perhaps figure out how to expand on the idea. Maybe she writes down what the key take-away for that session is, or the thought she'd like you to practice keeping in front of your mind. You'd have a tangible reminder of the support you get in-session, when you're away from it.

A hug is a scarier thing to ask for, but if you are putting all this out on the table, I'd recommend going ahead with that one as well. Some therapists do contact, some don't...hard to know unless you ask.

I think being a therapist, especially a good one, must be a pretty demanding job. My sense is that it's the sort of job you'd burn out from pretty fast if you didn't genuinely have an interest in your clients. A job that you do have to care about, and specifically, care about the people you work with.

I think when it's healthy, it's a specific form of caring. I'm a teacher, so I can compare it to that - I care about my students, absolutely. Now, I don't spend much energy on them except for when I'm on the job - and sometimes, this means spending extra time thinking about things they are struggling with, coming up with different approaches - but I'm also completely prepared for them to leave. They will finish the year, they will graduate, they will move on - and that's what I want to see them do. I'm with them for a very important time in their lives. I take it seriously, I do my best, and I'm rewarded by the moments I get to be present for. But, I'm not their friend, not their parent - and so, I maintain my own boundaries in a way that allows me to care in a balanced, appropriate way.

I'm sure other professions work like this as well. And, of course, therapy is much, much more intimate - which would only tell me that the boundaries are more important, for both the therapist and the client.

Just some stuff to think about.
 
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