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Rantings Of A Mad Woman

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You will get to that point someday Jade, even if it's not face to face it can always be in writting. I right now have no outside friends anymore either. The people I worked with were all considered "MY FRIENDS" I THOUGHT we were a very close knit group untill this happened. The one girl who was driving us to the airport when this happened to me really disappointed me the most. I think all she was worried about was if I was going to try and submit a claim to her insurance company!!!!!! In the very beggining they would call me to see how I was but that was only like a few weeks after. Now NO ONE calls me, NO ONE visits me, NOPE, you do find out who your true friends are. Even though I am not real social at this point these people would have been welcome becaues they were in my SAFE CIRCLE, but they chose to bow out. FINE!!!!! I came to the conclusion because I can no longer PROVIDE ANY TYPE OF SERVICE TO THEM they dumped me, and again THAT IS FINE WITH ME! Right now I do not need to carry any more excess baggage and that is what they were, people who pretended to be an important part of your life but when put to the test they ran because they did not valu who I really was they only judged me for what I could do them. Being involved in these online support groups and I belong to two others a group for RSD and TBI, has offered me a way to still converse with the outside world, but in a safe way, and also with people who do understand and are not out there looking for me to DO ANYTHING FOR THEM. No one in these groups acuses me of FAKING or MALINGERING, MAN I HATE THAT WORD, as some of my co workers did, everyone understands how hard it is because we are all going through this. So yes for now my family and my online friends in support groups are the only ones that I feel comfortable with. Hopefully someday I will find a person who will offer their friendship to me without strings, don't know when that will be but IT WILL HAPPEN. I now there has to be someone out there who will accept me and welcome my friendship when I am ready and wil not look at who I use to be but will embrace me for who I am now. I am still me, a bit flawed right now but HEY NOBODIES PERFECT:redface:
 
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