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Really hurting - friend doesn’t believe my “stories”

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hopetha2

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i am really having a hard night after a breakthrough in my therapy yesterday, a good thing, but, after looking f?or support from who i thought was someone who understood me, being kicked in the teeth by her questioning whether my 'stories' were even accurate or was it my own 'faulty' perception? WTF?
Sorry, i am angry after having gone through tears and hurt. i guess i had always looked to her to be a mother figure with UNconditional love, but i have to remember she is not a professional and she brings to the table her own preconceived assumptions and ideas, of which she is quite vocal. i feel like the Jews must have felt when people started saying the holocaust never happened-bull!!
i was molested at four years by my mother's boyfriend, my dad committed suicide when i was five. .my mother hated me and was extremely abusive with no boundaries and my brother beat me daily. i left home at ten only to be put in an abusive foster home...AND guess what ?? It was ALL real. and it happened and i have been working on my stuff now for 10 years with a male therapist i trust with my life after a lifetime of misdiagnoses and hospitalizations and suppressed feelings and emotions. need to just vent and say that sometimes it feels so isolated here when i know that some days are harder than others..thanks for giving me a place to be. it was real, it did happen and as a kid, i was not believed and i will be damned if i am not believed now, years later as an adult. thanks.
 
I'm sorry that this happened. I completely understand what it's like to not be understood at a young age, and even when I got a bit older. No one believed me because my parents were well known. It's frustrating.. it just takes one person to believe you to make it better. I hope you find that person. I believe you and am here to offer as much support as I can.
 
i will be damned if i am not believed now, years later as an adult
Keep your focus on this. That's the important thing -- you know damn well it happened. It's not your fault if other people can't wrap their heads around it.

I know how awful it is to open up and then be invalidated. Because one of the worst things about abuse, any kind of abuse, is that it makes you doubt yourself and second guess your own feelings. So when someone is invalidating, and they don't believe you, it rekindles that self-doubt and makes you wonder if it was really all that bad or you're just defective in some way. (I say "you" here, but I'm really just speaking from my own experiences. Though I do think self-doubt is a big factor for why invalidating/minimizing comments are so horrible)



I get that kind of treatment a lot too, unfortunately. And it always infuriates me. But at the end of the day, just try to view whoever said that to you as someone who can only view the world through their own lens and their own experiences -- and they just can't see anything beyond that. Sadly, that is true of most people. Which is why I often have trouble speaking about abusive ex-boyfriends to male relatives. The response is always the same, "Well surely you must have done something to make him mad?" I still fly into a rage when I hear that -- and I hear that often. But the only thing I keep telling myself is, "Well, that's just a sad little person who has very little experience and can't see things from outside the realm of his own life." It's true, even though it doesn't make it any easier to hear that kind of bullshit.
 
thank you to all of you who shared on my post. it is so comforting to read others and their own experiences and srhares about something that is so intense for me right now. thank you for reaching out. i am just really sad today and perhaps it is a good thing as i am coming from a place where i have several different parts, from disassociating and before i started with this therapist, i didn't even know i blended with smaller parts of me...if that makes sense. I have DIDNOS which in itself is a label but what it means for me is that my childhood trauma was so intense i just shut down and blacked out creating alter parts of myself who never grew up and who just dominated to stay in some sort of control. before this wonderful therapist, i never knew why i felt really 'small' for example and scared, not at my chronological age, but as a young kid. it was just my way of preserving whatever sanity i had left. so for me to say 'i' feel sad, it means all of me, integrating slowly but surely. i think what i really have to accept is that i may always have ptsd, but in forums like these, others understand because they too, have their own story. thank you for validating mine. -h
 
i am really having a hard night after a breakthrough in my therapy yesterday, a good thing, but, after...

You will have to take inventory and evaluate everyone that has the chance to get close to you. That is what I have learned. After being stalked at the workplace I was harassed by additional criminals that joined the stalker. They pretended they were stalked, beaten, and raped and experienced childhood abuse.

All of those individuals spread those lies about themselves to get closer to me and to get my sympathy. What the reality was that these people were actively cheating on their boyfriends and spouses at that workplace. The reality was that all of the responsible people knew and no one used any kind of accountability.

This lack of accountability spread to security forces and involved local police departments. You would think this country I am writing from is Russia or North Korea, nope but just as corrupt as the U.S.A.
 
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