Hi everyone!!!
Ever had those times when you feel you just are'nt being heard? Or someone close to you has the same old whinge about something you are sick to death of hearing?:crybaby:
Poeple get extreamly closed off to other people, and it is no accident communication breaks down in everyone's day to day stuggles with life.
There is a technique called Reflective Listening that will certainly help you through life if you wish to use it. It requires you to listen when a person is talking to you, and relay back to that person what they have just said.
For example;
Mary: I've been sooo busy all day and you cant even help me bring the washing in!! Cant you see Im tired!!!!!
This lady is tired, frustrated, and just wants to be heard, and to let off some steam!!!
John; Well Excuse Me for Finally Sitting Down After A Hard Day At Work!!!!!
He cant believe she just sounded off at him!!! He only just got home from a hard day at work!!!
All these two see is how THEY are feeling. They never actually HEAR what the other person said. They never bothered to stop for a minute and assess the situation.
With Reflective Listening, it could go like this.....
Mary; I've been sooo busy all day and you cant even help me bring the washing in!! Cant you see Im tired!!!!
John; What you are saying is, that you have been really busy all day, and that you are really tired. You would have apprieciated a hand bringing in the washing?.
This opens the line of communication to CALMLY discuss the matter. 'Mary' Will be happy, because she felt she was heard. 'John' will be able to sympathise with her tiredness and express how work is getting them both down. Perhaps they can now figure out ways to alleviate some of the strain on each other.
All of this is day to day stuff. It is amazing how much you actually really do "hear". You get to the root of the problem, before it actually becomes a biggy!!!
To repeat what the other person is saying, does not make what they are saying true, it just reflects that you listened.
Listen not just with your ears, but with your mind, and your heart.
xxxxxxx
Ever had those times when you feel you just are'nt being heard? Or someone close to you has the same old whinge about something you are sick to death of hearing?:crybaby:
Poeple get extreamly closed off to other people, and it is no accident communication breaks down in everyone's day to day stuggles with life.
There is a technique called Reflective Listening that will certainly help you through life if you wish to use it. It requires you to listen when a person is talking to you, and relay back to that person what they have just said.
For example;
Mary: I've been sooo busy all day and you cant even help me bring the washing in!! Cant you see Im tired!!!!!
This lady is tired, frustrated, and just wants to be heard, and to let off some steam!!!
John; Well Excuse Me for Finally Sitting Down After A Hard Day At Work!!!!!
He cant believe she just sounded off at him!!! He only just got home from a hard day at work!!!
All these two see is how THEY are feeling. They never actually HEAR what the other person said. They never bothered to stop for a minute and assess the situation.
With Reflective Listening, it could go like this.....
Mary; I've been sooo busy all day and you cant even help me bring the washing in!! Cant you see Im tired!!!!
John; What you are saying is, that you have been really busy all day, and that you are really tired. You would have apprieciated a hand bringing in the washing?.
This opens the line of communication to CALMLY discuss the matter. 'Mary' Will be happy, because she felt she was heard. 'John' will be able to sympathise with her tiredness and express how work is getting them both down. Perhaps they can now figure out ways to alleviate some of the strain on each other.
All of this is day to day stuff. It is amazing how much you actually really do "hear". You get to the root of the problem, before it actually becomes a biggy!!!
To repeat what the other person is saying, does not make what they are saying true, it just reflects that you listened.
Listen not just with your ears, but with your mind, and your heart.
xxxxxxx