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Relationships? How Do You Do It

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Zemi

Confident
I wondered how ... others here even begin having relationships offline with people?

Online I still struggle so much with them. But there's advantages like that I can withdraw easily if needed; disappear if needed; the other person can't see me - doesn't know if I'm crying, panicking, tearing out my hair etc unless I tell them. They can't tell if I've gone into silent mode or got lost in my thoughts somewhere and so on, there is so much they don't need to see or know. They don't even need to get an idea of the wild range of moods and responses unless I choose to let them know.

Offline people have the first obstacle to get over with in that I'm overweight which keeps a lot of people away (and was the idea of it initially as a way of keeping people away and now is a mess). If anyone gets past that barrier, then there is everything else especially the moods, over reactions and so on; so most of the time I don't put my self in situations where that even happens. Only lately I've been trying to but it's such a struggle. I'm ok with asking questions but not everyone wants to answer; I'm not good with answering them and for other conversation it's usually just difficult because so often people are coming from a background that includes alien things eg. family, partners, friends, going out/activities. I end up back with the idea that I can never be around people; but then other times the loneliness eats me up and somehow I WANT to make it work!

I see people on here as supporters; and others who mention being supported; except as it exists online I have no idea what that concept is like. Social anxiety doesn't help either; but how did you do it? find those people? let them near? (and not run in the opposite direction).

I'm already doing small steps as far as trying to interact with a few group activities and small things like saying hello to other people when walking my dog etc. but it feels like such a long process ahead and that i'm only at the very beginning.

Social skills = very low!
 
Zemi,
You have to find a way to be comfotable in your own skin. You know where you want to be, your'e just having trouble getting there. Your a good person, you need to recognize that (you've liked and replied to a few of the same threads that i have been on, (I've paid attention:))). If you say hello to someone and the don't respond politely, then that THEIR problem, not yours. I know that it hard to open-up and make yourself vunerable, but if you dont give it a shot.....you might miss something really great.
 
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