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Reoccurring nightmares

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hymnless

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So I’ve had the same reoccurring nightmare since I was assaulted (5 years ago). It has come and gone, worse sometimes than others. Lately it’s gotten so bad that I’m afraid to fall asleep. It’s less of a nightmare and more of an awful memory of making eye contact with my rapist during the assault. It’s so clear and I can practically feel him on me. I can’t handle it anymore. I feel like I’m losing my mind and I’m so exhausted. Any ideas? Someone suggested trying to change the end of the dream, but to me that seems like trying to change the reality of what happened. I’m avoidant already- the last thing I need to do is convince myself that it didn’t happen or ended differently.
 
It breaks my heart when no one reply to a thread.

It makes you feel even more alone.
But your not alone.

We have both looked into the eyes of evil.

Anyone who has been terrified like this, knows what its liked to feel haunted by it.
The eyes are the window of soul, and you encountered pure evil, lucky those who dont.

But we survived! WE stared down evil in the face and came through it alive.
Our goal was to remain alive and not be killed.
WE SURVIVED ! So do anything you can you know that helps.
If you can only get 3 hours sleep, or have to sleep during daylight
do it.
I felt my soul died at that moment, so become someone new, someone stronger.

If you can visualize yourself in a protected bubble, where nothing and no one can hurt you.
Like an angel / past relative is watching over you, looking after you so your finally safe to sleep.
No harm shall come to you now, youve been through the worst.

I sleep next to my cat, any noise or movement she hears it first and alerts me.
You cant explain to another unless youve been through it.
Just know you where meant to be here for a reason.
Sending comfort, calm and peace within you.
 
I was just posting in another thread about this. The only thing that disrupts my worst nightmares is talking them through with my therapist...all the terrible details. It makes me vomit but stops the endless processing throughout the night. Nightmares are horrible. I hope you can find some relief!
 
Im sorry you are having these nightmares. I get a few recurring nightmares also, not as vivid but they seem to progress over time.
Im not sure if it depends on belief system, but if you believe in jesus and can remember in the dream to call out for him it may wake you up. I dont always remember probably cause i dont pray much and hardly read the bible but when i can remember ,it definetly works. Once in the dream when i tried to call out it was like someone was covering my mouth preventing me ,but i just kept trying and eventually got it out. I believe there is power in his name and really encourage you to just try it, i hope it can pull you out of those bad nightmares.
 
I completely understand this. My main trauma was at 14. Attack from a stranger. I have suffered since the with being afraid at night. Waking up and thinking I’m the only one awake is the worst as I lay there listening to my breathing. I’m 30 now and married so the waking up in the night doesn’t bother me as much as my husband is asleep beside me I can normally fall back asleep however in the past 5 years I know have nightmares that my attacker is on me. Or I dream about certain parts of the attack. This is hard for me to say but my attacker wanted to arouse me also and this is a nightmare I have at the moment he was doing this. It’s horrific. I talk about it with my T and she keeps telling me to try and out it in the past. Face it and process it but I can’t. Unfortunately I can’t offer you advice only know you are not alone and it does get better (I hope) with hard work and pushing through the pain and fear.

I wish you the best of luck and I hope you have a good T to work on this with.
 
@Sarah12 this sounds very similar to my nightmares. Didn’t go to sleep until almost 2 because I was afraid and been up since 4:30 this morning because of it :(
 
I k ownthis will sound mad and childish but I don’t care it sometimes works for me. Helps with the fear and anxiety when I wake up but I sleep with a little teddy monkey. I have had him since I was 12. He is not even a great looking teddy so never knew why I am so attached to him but I find holding him in bed at night sometimes helps and I don’t feel so anxious or scared. Maybe you could try it.

Sorry I don’t know how to tag anyone on this or comment after after a post has been made .. #computerspa!
 
Someone suggested trying to change the end of the dream, but to me that seems like trying to change the reality of what happened

Hello. I feel same and was told to try reentering the dream to control it. I have had variations. Same dream content and context theme...different outcome same result waking up drained.
 
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