@different therapist: Yeah, to be honest flying to London to see you still sounds as a better plan than quitting before. I need to remind myself you're an option. I don't know how to deal with 'normal life' because of everything that's so entwined in 'normal life' normal-life people never face. And to be honest I still want to scream so many days, but (ssh, don't let them know you're still alive)... f*ck July, f*ck August, and all around f*ck heat, too. & A therapist buddy: I fail everybody if you give me enough time, it's my super hero skill. You'd just get me a coffee & then we'd do a range visit. There, calm, not shaky, focused, it's all just targets, it's not complicated.