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Reverting Back To Childhood?

Discussion in 'Other Symptoms & Disorders' started by Rose4, Nov 4, 2012.

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  1. Rose4

    Rose4 New Member

    Hello everyone,

    I'm new here so I hope I'm posting in the right forum. I feel really silly asking this question as it's actually one of my biggest secrets. I'm a 23 year old female, and as a very young child I was molested by my father. I don't remember any of it, but apparently it did happen according to doctors, the battered women's shelter we went to after, and my family. Despite this I had a great childhood. I was a creative kid and was constantly outside with friends.

    Things have been going bad lately, we are going to court against my father (very long story, unrelated to the sexual abuse) and are having financial troubles (my mother and I). I help my mother pay her bills and attend graduate school full time. A lot of family stuff has been stressing me out, along with a job I absolutely abhor and a full course load. I've found I've begun doing things I did in my childhood.

    I still sleep with my baby blanket, I've begun watching shows I liked as a kid, and playing gameboy games I enjoyed as a kid. I purchased a Giga Pet from the 90's because I loved them so much when I was younger. I find myself missing my childhood, a lot. At first I thought I was just eccentric. I'm a writer, and it's not unheard of for writers to be an eccentric bunch. But I've noticed that these behaviors peak when I'm stressed or thinking about my father.

    Should I see someone about this? Or is it ok to continue with these little behaviors? I just feel like it's "wrong" in some way. A 23 year old graduate student shouldn't be playing Pokemon and sleeping with a baby blanket, you know?
     
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  2. JustBe

    JustBe Bent but not Broken Premium Member

    Hi and Welcome. Now this is just my opinion, but I think you're just nurturing yourself through a difficult and stressful time. I don't see anything wrong with that. BTW, I've started coloring and reading favorite childhood books this week, so maybe I'm not the best person to give you advice! :p
     
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  3. Abstract

    Abstract I'm a VIP Premium Member

    Hi Rose,

    Sorry that you went through all that.

    I think it's fine too. We all have different parts to us and when something linking to trauma comes up it can take us back to that age a little. I find it very helpful to do so too. I find watching Disney films helps and wrap up in a soft blanket and sometimes play child's games or colour. Remember that trauma creates pockets of emotions that have not been filed away properly.

    If you have PTSD and your life shows the signs of trauma in it then I would definitely think of seeing a proper trauma therapist. Its tricky when you don't remember anything.

    Take care and good luck with the court stuff.
     
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  4. Medic72

    Medic72 I'm a VIP

    I believe it would fall into the category of Self Soothing, don't be ashamed of it, in fact it's often encouraged in therapy to help get through the rough times.

    I have a teddy bear, my hubby actually thinks its cute. :)
     
  5. Shellbell

    Shellbell I'm a VIP

    I also like childrens activities and it is very common particularly for childhood abuse victims to revert to childhood things that soothe them.

    It is totally okay that you do this and it is encouraged by therapists.

    I agree with Abstract as well, if possible go to see a trauma therapist who can help you with what you have endured in the past and all the stress you are having now.
     
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