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Undiagnosed Robbed At Gunpoint And Traumatized.

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Hello, everyone. My name is Nicole and I'm new here, of course. Yesterday, unexpectedly, we had a home invasion / robbery. Someone came to my home looking for a person by the name of "Rob" (name changed) and though my dad tried to explain to this person that no one here knew a Rob, and that Rob didn't live here, the stranger at the door didn't listen. Concerned, I left my room (I live alone with my dad) and I went into the living room, where the stranger saw me, pushed my father out of the way and stepped inside, drawing a gun out of his pocket. He pointed it at my dad and I was immediately horrified. The next fifteen to twenty minutes consisted of me being yelled at, having a gun pointed at my head more than once, having a gun pointed at my father's head more than once, me BEGGING and PLEADING and CRYING for him not to shoot my dad, me being told to shut up, my father being sat on and searched, my house being rummaged through, me being instructed to lie face down on the ground and much more. It was hell. Those few minutes went on for an eternity. We got out unscathed though; the man left with my iPad + charger, both our cellphones, my dad's wallet including all his credit cards, my ID, my necklace (which he pulled off of my neck) and a bag I was forced to give him from my closet. I'm not really concerned about the missing items. I'd rather live than own any of that, however, I'm traumatized by the event and I have no idea how to handle it.

The police eventually came, as well as the forensics unit, but no arrests have been made yet (though they said they had a pretty good lead). I spent the next 12 hours crying. The first few were more dramatic, screaming kinda thing and afterwards, they were just quiet, little sobs here and there.

I don't know if I have PTSD, but I will tell you this:
  • I'm extremely paranoid; sensitive to all sounds and noises. I hear a knock at the door, I jump and run to grab a knife and I don't look out of the peep hole. I hear voices outside, I panic and assume it's him, he's back and he brought friends.
  • I cannot sleep. It's only been 24 hours and I've gotten 3 hours of sleep. Not even. I kept waking up. Any time my dad would open the door, I'd wake up and run out of my room, into the living room to see what he was up to. I REFUSE to be left alone. I follow my dad anywhere that he goes.
  • We walked to the store today and I saw my robber everywhere that I looked. Anyone who resembled him in the slightest (same height, skin color - ANYTHING that reminded me of him) sent me in a panic and I was rushing my dad to please walk faster. I can't stand the thought of being outside and knowing he's still at large.
  • I'm worried he's going to retaliate because we called the cops or he doesn't have the pin numbers for the cards or he doesn't have the charger or pin numbers for the phones. When my dad finally fell asleep last night (he's also paranoid), I stayed up to keep watch. I went to bed at 8 in the morning, which isn't good because I'm a first-year college student and I have classes. But I can't sleep knowing he hasn't been arrested, or knowing he may have friends out there who might come back and attack me.
  • Speaking of, I'm now scared to walk to my classes alone. I'm scared to leave my dad home alone, in fear that when I return, he'll be dead or something. Dramatic, but still.
  • Last night I contemplated going to the hospital and pretending to be sick just to get out of the house. I don't feel safe or comfortable in my own home anymore. That sense of safety and security is gone, and because he took all our cash, I can't afford a hotel or anything. Can't go with friends either because I refuse to leave my dad alone. Can't install a security system or get a dog as the internet suggests because I live in an apartment.
  • I keep having flashbacks. I walk by the areas in my home where my father was forced to crawl, where I was forced to lay down, where the guy stood - and my mind goes back to it. I'm eating, and suddenly I'm thinking of what happened and I'm in tears. The image of the gun being pointed directly at my dad makes my stomach drop and my heart hurt and I want so badly to forget it. I also keep thinking about what I could've done differently. I feel guilty for giving him my dad's wallet, when my dad was obviously trying to hide it. My dad said I did the right thing but I don't know, I feel bad.
I don't know what to do. It's only been 24 hours and I'm losing my mind here, I can't focus on anything aside from what happened and now I'm financially set back too. Similar stories or support or anything would be really nice. I don't know who to talk to about this; no one that I know understands. They've never begged for their life or had a gun pointed directly at their head or a stranger invade their home. Please.
 
:hug: How awful!

Your reaction and everything you are struggling with is very normal. I would highly suggest talking to the victim advocate at the police department with how you are struggling and they can help you get into counseling (and may even be able to use vic comp funds to pay for it). PTSD is something the develops down the road - at least 3-6 months after a traumatic event. Right now what you are experiencing is more like acute traumatic stress. The sooner you get support the less likely this will turn into PTSD down to the road.

If there was other trauma you suffered, you could have had PTSD before this or have PTSD now triggered because of this. However, it's not needed for this to be horrifying and terrible to go through. All your fears, concerns, and everything you are going through makes a lot of sense. You have already taken a good step to reach out here.
 
first welcome to the forum. What you are experiencing is a normal reaction to what has happened. It does not mean you have PTSD, but I would strongly suggest that both you and your dad see a trauma therapist that can help you process all that happened, and help you deal with it in a healthy manner.
Best to you, and I am really sorry this happened to you, and I hope the catch the person who did this.
 
I guess you reaction and fear is absolutely understandable.... Is it possible for you to get yourself to a doctor (any family doctor should do) to help you out with your totally understandable anxiety? They should really understand and should be able to give you something so that you can at least somewhat calm down and hopefully even sleep. Sometimes a little medical help does do wonders. There are meds that act pretty fast and you don't need to keep taking them. There is a damn good chance that after calming down the world looks quite different, thinking works again, and it at least doesn't feel like going completely mad any more. I don't know, but your reaction is really quite understandable, so possibly there are actually people around you that do actually understand even though they never had that happened to them and you might have the feeling that they impossibly can understand you. It could well be that they just don't know how to handle it because what happened to you might be quite unsetteling for them as well. If you have not tried this already, maybe at least try to reach out to your friends and if you have an idea what might make you feel saver and better, tell them. This could be as simple as "please could you just listen to me talking, you don't need to say anything at all", or as complex as "could you maybe stay a night or two with us, or could we stay with you".
 
You need immediate help from a trauma therapist. I'm not a therapist but I do know that immediately following a traumatic event a person gets acute traumatic stress. If you can get immediate help, it may help you from developing PTSD. Ask the police where you could find such a person to help you. If they don't know try the local hospitals emergency room or the nearest 24 hour crisis hotline.

I am so sorry you and your dad had to endure this. I was also attacked by a junkie looking for drugs and I did not want to be alone and it was all I could think about. I got therapy quickly and I learned how to handle these symptoms. You are having a natural reaction to an unnatural event. You will feel better when he's caught, and I doubt he'd risk coming back. If you can, try to stay in the present not the past. Imagine in your mind a place you feel safe. Stay in that place in your mind. It can be anywhere in the whole Universe. You can visualize anything you know is comforting to you. Bring those things to your safe place.

It's perfectly natural for you to want to avoid everything you associate with this assault. With time and counseling, your fears will diminish. Remember to eat nourishing food it will give you strength

It understandable that you feel powerless. He had a weapon. You did the right things Nicole because he left and he didn't use his gun. You have power!!! I wish you and your Father the best. You'll have to take time and energy and work to overcome this trauma but I'm sure you will prevail. Let us know how you are doing.
 
Well, the upside is that this was yesterday, and that's a totally normal reaction for it having been yesterday. You're still acute.

Will you always feel like this?

Probably not. As most people don't develop PTSD, even when exposed to trauma repeatedly. So most likely, this will be scary for a little while, and then your mind will process through, and you'll be totally fine in no time flat. :D which is awesome news. I know some people think any severe trauma is like an automatic entry into post traumatic stress disorder, but it usually isn't. I think even the military is running at like 30% for combat vets developing PTSD. So it's not like 'Not only did this bad thing happen, but on top of that it's now guaranteed this other really bad thing will happen." Instead, what will probably happen is that, even without doing anything, you'll be right as rain.

However, while to the best of my knowledge there isn't a "Do this and avoid PTSD button" ... my understanding is that getting counseling quick can at least nudge the odds in your favor.

The hospital impulse was a good one... As they usually have someone on staff in either psych or social work to help people process. Try ringing them up and explaining what happened, and ask if you come in if they have someone you can see. OTW, look into local trauma counselors.
 
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Amanda, is it possible for you and your father to go somewhere else to stay for a couple of days?

Unfortunately not. As previously mentioned, we can't afford a hotel as of the moment and it'd be really weird to bring him to a friend's house when she has a family of her own. I, myself, don't have any family living in Florida - and my dad is too stubborn to go, anyway.

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As for everyone else who commented, thank you so much for the kind words, information and support! I really appreciate it, you have no idea. I'll look into attending counseling, as I've taken it before (when I was like - sixteen? so three years ago) and that was because I suffer from social anxiety as well, and I know that probably just makes things 10x worse. My thing is I just talked about the incident with my dad (literally ten minutes ago) and I had to cut the conversation short, it's still hard to talk about in detail. I'm hoping that particular issue will pass over soon. Anyways, thank you again everyone!
 
I'll look into attending counseling, as I've taken it before (when I was like - sixteen? so three years ago) and that was because I suffer from social anxiety as well, and I know that probably just makes things 10x worse.
I'll pray for you. I suffer from severe PTSD coupled with acute social and generalized anxiety as well.
 
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In regard to that you are a freshman. Just a couple practical ideas to hopefully ease your stress level in case what happened effects your performance as a student too much and you don't know what to do. If you have trouble concentrating, doing your assignments, going to class, taking exams, taking tests etc, then please talk to your professors. Do this before/as soon as you can't do something that will effect your grade, because after the fact they can't do anything any more and trust me, there is a good chance they would feel bad about that. I don't know your college policy, but there is a very good chance that professors will work with you beyond the rules stated in their syllabus in situations like that. Though, you might need to show some proof (doctors note, some note from the police). Those that don't seem willing and understanding, maybe just forget them and maybe consider dropping the class if needed? If you need to do that, there are deadlines for when dropping a class does not show up on your record etc. There also might be entities at your college that might be of help such as a women's or counseling centers (many if not all of their services are often free) to help you sort college related things out if this incident effects your studies, or if maybe dropping classes effects your financial aid or things like that.
 
I had a similar experience happen to me, except the robbers actually were the police. And no, im not kidding. Im so sorry you experienced that to you and your father. Please be somewhere safe. May God's light protect you and your family.
 
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