I'm not really sure where to begin so I am just going to cut right to it. When I was 15 I was the passenger in head-on automobile crash with a telephone pole at 70 mph. Unscathed, coming out of it with only a bruised lung.
When I was 18, about a month after graduating high school, I was sexually assaulted by an employee at a popular fast food breakfast/coffee place (cannot legally disclose name). It was luckily caught on tape, and I went to court and settled.
I grew up with what has taken me a while to realize, great parents, but had a lot of emotional trauma growing up. They were divorced when I was 18 months old, and had a vile relationship for about 20 years or more. They had joint custody and I would see my father (eventually stepmom/siblings came around) every Wednesday and every other weekend and my mom for the rest for 14 years of my life until I went to live with my mother, who has been a full time working, single mother for 24 years. I switched schools about 7 times from elementary to high school, and have moved about ten times before turning 18.
I ran away when I was 13 for one week before being caught by detectives. And later that year I ran away for three nights and came home because the person I was with wanted to go back.
I started drinking and smoking weed at 14 and at 15 starting tripping on robitussin a few times a week for about 6 months, and after that once and a while until I was 16. When I was 16/17 I started doing emense amounts of extacy, coke and basically what ever I could get my hands on. I was into long weekends, with no sleep, pushing myself to the brink of exhaustion on purpose.
Fast forward, I am 24, 6 years after my last and most traumatic experience (other than evading a robbery) and I have never felt so disassociated and out of control. Or maybe I have. But I need help. I can't cope in a healthy way. I make no changes and I see no results. I make excuses for my irrational decisions, and it's starting to affect someone I hold so dear in my heart who entered my life two years ago. I'm sure that what I need is change. Thanks for your time.
I realize how disconnected some of the sentences are. There are a lot of holes in what I'm saying, it's just a bit too thick to type, especially because my immediate memory is terrible.
When I was 18, about a month after graduating high school, I was sexually assaulted by an employee at a popular fast food breakfast/coffee place (cannot legally disclose name). It was luckily caught on tape, and I went to court and settled.
I grew up with what has taken me a while to realize, great parents, but had a lot of emotional trauma growing up. They were divorced when I was 18 months old, and had a vile relationship for about 20 years or more. They had joint custody and I would see my father (eventually stepmom/siblings came around) every Wednesday and every other weekend and my mom for the rest for 14 years of my life until I went to live with my mother, who has been a full time working, single mother for 24 years. I switched schools about 7 times from elementary to high school, and have moved about ten times before turning 18.
I ran away when I was 13 for one week before being caught by detectives. And later that year I ran away for three nights and came home because the person I was with wanted to go back.
I started drinking and smoking weed at 14 and at 15 starting tripping on robitussin a few times a week for about 6 months, and after that once and a while until I was 16. When I was 16/17 I started doing emense amounts of extacy, coke and basically what ever I could get my hands on. I was into long weekends, with no sleep, pushing myself to the brink of exhaustion on purpose.
Fast forward, I am 24, 6 years after my last and most traumatic experience (other than evading a robbery) and I have never felt so disassociated and out of control. Or maybe I have. But I need help. I can't cope in a healthy way. I make no changes and I see no results. I make excuses for my irrational decisions, and it's starting to affect someone I hold so dear in my heart who entered my life two years ago. I'm sure that what I need is change. Thanks for your time.
I realize how disconnected some of the sentences are. There are a lot of holes in what I'm saying, it's just a bit too thick to type, especially because my immediate memory is terrible.
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