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"Safe Places" - Whats Yours?

Discussion in 'General' started by White0nWhite, Sep 17, 2007.

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  1. White0nWhite

    White0nWhite Member

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    I remember when I was in therapy, my therapist told me that whenever I felt scared or was experiencing the nasty effects of PTSD. To go to my safe place in my mind. She sat there explaining to me what one would be like. And I thought back to my childhood..
    I used to do that every night. I'd pretend I was a dog in the world of whatever cartoon I was into at the time (Darkwing Duck was one I clearly remember). I'd hide in this make believe world as a dog inside my head. Trying to (as I later found out, what it was called) lucid dream about it. Feeling protected and safe.
    I still do it to this day, sometimes before I sleep. I imagine myself as that white wolf (I posted in my art post) and go to wherever I feel safe, by an ocean or where ever I want. Exploring and hiding. Sometimes the lucid dreaming takes a turn of it's own. And I'm visited by fictional characters I like today; characters from books I read, from movies I like, and even my own characters. Or what I think are helpful spirits/guardians/angels. Even if the dream starts to turn into a nightmare, I some how am able to run away as long as I manage to keep some control of the dream. Like; I'll look at my hands, I'll see that they are paws, and I'm on all fours. I feel that I can run on all fours and am quickly able to run away from the danger. Although this all goes back to when I was a kid, years and years of practice. It just was amusing to me, in a small way, when my therapist brought it up. It was something I had done all along, even as a small child. I never knew it was something that was used as a form of treatment.
    So in my dreams? My safe place is being that wolf, knowing as long as I can retain that form in my dreams, look at my hands and see that they are paws, seeing and feeling myself run on all four limbs. Then I know it's a dream, I'm able to take control and turn the dream around to where I'm in a safe place, or I'm far away from dangers; being my mother, school, or what have you.
    Although, yes, there are times I can't control it. And I lose my grasp on it, and the nightmares and flashbacks come. But I hope over time; I can gain full control.
    In real life, it's by the water, even the location of my job (my dad used to take me there with him all the time), on the water in a boat, and deep in the woods.
     
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  3. goingonhope

    goingonhope Member Premium Member

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    I'd say, my safe places are sitting in an old tree, and/or lying on my back, under the sun, in a field of grass and in the vicinity of a large tree with its braches weeping down toward the ground and providing shade. So I like chooses. I like both the sun and shade, and perhaps there would be a slight breeze and it's a must that there be wild flowers spread randomly throughout this field. And, then from there just plain old fashioned peace and quiet, with the simple sounds of birds, insects and nature.

    Oh' and like you SkyHawk, I like the water, most especially lakes with the sounds of frogs croaking, and so if that tree that I'd climb and sit down in can be right next to the water, well then I think that would be one of two of the safest places for me, and the other being near a solo tree and in a large field of grass and wild flowers.

    Hope
     
  4. Claire

    Claire Well-Known Member

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    I have 2 safe places. One is inside an old tree that I used to play in as a child. The other is a cave. Its by the sea and each time I visit it I add something else to make it more comfortable. Sometimes my friends visit, people that have died visit me there, I sometimes go fishing and cook my catch. It has a ladder that goes up to a grassy roof where I lie and soak up the sun. Its also got small areas at the back that are really comfortable, covered in velvet that I lie in when things are really tough.

    Nice thread by the way. Safe places are a really good idea in my opinion and its one place where I can safely put my imagination to good use, to help me.
     
  5. She Cat

    She Cat I'm a VIP Premium Member

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    I used to like high places....I would climb to the top of a bridge and sit there for hours. The cops(giggle) would be on the sidewalk asking me to come down. Usually they would end up leaving, because there was no way they were climbing up to get me. LOL....

    I have this one place now, it's quiet, up high on a road, and it over looks a body of water. Very beautiful, and serene....

    Weird, but all of us have water in our safe places. I wonder if it has some deeper meaning. Like going back to the womb for safety??????
     
  6. nie

    nie Wishing for wings to fly. Premium Member Donated

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    My safe place doesn't have water, for real or in my imagination.

    My place in my mind is high in a maple tree in a tree house. It is a tree house that actually has door that you can lock. The leaves are so thick on the tree that no one can even see the house up in the tree. I am the only one that knows that it is there. The tree is in a forest full of large trees with many animals. There are squirrels and birds that visit my tree house. It is a safe place.

    My real safe place . . . that is more difficult. I don't really know where that would be. I guess in my car driving on an open road where no one will find me.
     
  7. nor

    nor Well-Known Member

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    Hmmmmm-my safe place when I was little was hiding under my bed, or hiding in a cupboard with the door closed, so that noone would find me. (I now suffer from claustephobia).

    After getting married, and facing verbal abuse from my husband, I used to hide behind all my clothes, on the floor, in my closet. I was safe there, until my little son found me there one day. I try to not go back there anymore.

    The doctor is trying to establish his office as a safe place, but I have been reliving a lot of bad memories there, that it just doesn't "feel" safe right now.

    Hopefully I will find one, one day.

    nor
     
  8. Awakening

    Awakening Well-Known Member

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    I'm a water person too.

    But like nor, when I was little I used to hide in my wardrobe. Not because my family life was abusive, but just I didn't know how to deal with painful feelings & somehow hiding in a wardrobe felt safe?

    In real life, my safe place is my therapists office, I think that takes time to establish though. I also live near the beach, and looking at water has an incredibly calming effect on me.

    My therapist also had me imagine a safe place, and in this case I imagine an old log style cabin near a big pristine crystal clear lake.

    I never really thought about the water thing before, but despite living near a beach I rarely swim unless it's super hot. But recently I went for a swim in the local pool, and I found that very calming & safe. The pool was not deep (I could stand in the deep end) and something very soothing about being supported by all that water. For those with water preferences you might want to try it.
     
  9. zoe

    zoe Well-Known Member

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    When I was a kid. My safe place was a cliff over ooking a highway - not right on the edge. It was safe because I couldn't jump and hurt people below and there were tons of wildflowers. When it was really bad I would water them with my tears. Other times I would just enjoy there beauty. I guess I need one now.
     
  10. Monarch

    Monarch I'm a VIP Premium Member

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    Yup, Water is my safe place too, I grew up on the beach and I surfed so when things got bad I would head into the water and ride the waves. The water is my second home, I live so far away from the ocean now but when we go up to lake superior I am always drawn to the water. My safe spot in my head is a stream, it is beautiful and I can hear the water rushing and it is blue and cold. Reminds me of North Carolina.

    My safe space in college when I was scared and couldn't figure out what to do was a closet, I would hide and sometimes sleep in the back of my closet with a baseball bat. I guess I did that as a kid too when I was scared.
     
  11. Pol

    Pol New Member

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    My therapist too told me to try and conjure or imagine this safe place before we started the heavy going stuff. I really struggled with it, not because i don't have good happy memories from which i could create this safe place but because i was somewhere where i was never going to find them, or find them good enough. For weeks my safe place was acutally a real place- away from real life, camping somewhere with my husband and my twin boys, settled with a duvet, a cuppa and a set off stupidly hard puzzles to keep my brain distracted.

    Last week, like a real "light bulb" moment i found my true safe place- and the water theme definately continues. I used to dive a few years back, which isn't really that safe at all, but remembering, being underwater, with no noise, no humans apart from a buddy whose keeping you safe, feeling weightless- if i can get myself back there i really do feel safe and protected.

    It's odd because when i did dive i was never a real fanatic, i liked it, but stopped it because the enthusiasm dwindled. But now- i'd love to get to a point where i could truly go to that safe place and get back under the water, and just be weightless in a world without people and without noise and be taken with currents and appreciate what i see as i pass it.

    In fact, i logged on this evening coz i was feeling all over the place and i feel much calmer again now just typing about it,

    Pol xxx
     
  12. mouse

    mouse Well-Known Member

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    Safe place was a hard one for me I seem to not have one but different ones, and yes SO goes the water theme, one place I find safe is snorkeling or diving as well just the water and the sea life and if things seemed hectic or too much I could always dive deeper darker quieter. another place I found peace was under this old willow tree over looking a meadow at the base of a mountain there is wildlife and flowers, trees and a creek running below a ravine, there is always a fire going and my horse standing munching grass behind me.

    my last safe place is a pretty dangerous place but it is the place you are when you have pulled your chute and the parachute has opened and you are gliding with the wind, it is so peaceful till you get close to the ground and then it becomes hectic again. I don't know just my places.
     
  13. suzette

    suzette New Member

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    I too remember my therapist saying I needed to have a safe place. My safe place is also laying on my back or stomach in the grass, listening to nature, amongst animals but it is more the smells that bring me peace. I love it when you randomly come across a smell that brings back peaceful memories. I often forget about going to my safe place.
     
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