ShodokanJenn
MyPTSD Pro
So, for many years I was constantly sick and/or injured. Things weren't back-to-back, they were overlapping and piled up 3 and 4 (or more) deep. When I first started seeing my therapist years ago, he assured me that he knew the issues were very real, and they needed proper treatment. He also said he believed things would even out and my physical health would dramatically change as we got the PTSD under better control. I didn't believer him.
He was right, of course. I had still been having frequent health concerns, but it has been years since I needed to be admitted for any reason.
Then, at the beginning of December I developed yet another kidney infection. The initial antibiotics didn't work, and the second ones did but the infection took until right before Christmas to clear. I got hit with a nasty virus that knocked me way back on Christmas eve. High fever, shaking chills, aches everywhere, sore throat, headache, and just generally sick. I took the week between Christmas and New Year's to rest and recover. It didn't work. The virus made my chest tight, and then congested, and then I developed pneumonia in my right lung that was quite extensive. So that meant lots of antibiotics, expectorant, inhalers, and a constant feeling of drowning (I've been held under water until til I've gasped in a big lung full many times as a kid, so I do know from whence I speak). Enter panic and mind-freeze.
Two weeks ago, toward the end of the week, I was actually starting to feel a bit better. Last week Sunday, that disappeared. Had a high fever, sore throat, headache, body aches, chills, muscle stiffness, stomach pain, and more. By Monday afternoon, my breathing was so bad that I had to go to the ER for treatment. While there, they found that the pneumonia was improving a little, there was fluid in my lung that was not pus, and I am concerningly anemic again. Also, my white cells have not responded appropriately to the infections I had/have. And I tested positive for Influenza A. After 8 hours, I got to go home with my Tamiflu and breathing treatments.
This past Friday, I started to feel like I was finally turning the corner back towards health. Saturday evening, on my way home from my dad's house, my right upper quadrant (abdomen) started to hurt. It slowly intensified all day Sunday. I was at my GP's office at 8 Monday morning. Pain shots, labs, CT, chest films, exam... Conclusion was it might be an issue with the kidney, or the gall bladder (both look off in the scan, but the radiologist said there's no definitive diagnosis). Was sent home to rest and told to come back Tuesday if not significantly better.
SO yesterday, it was back to the clinic. More labs. IV fluids as I was so dehydrated that my blood counts no longer reflected the anemia confirmed with Monday's labs. Ultrasound and surgical consult. Surgeon let me go home after ultrasound and said she'd call me with the results. She didn't. Last night they finally added the final radiologist report. I couldn't tell for sure during the scan if things were bad enough to be surgical. But the radiologist confirmed what I saw. There is clearly something amiss with the right kidney, but nobody can tell if it's an active issue or just physical abnormalities left over from all the previous infections. My gall bladder is full of sludge, but it doesn't appear to be infected or blocked at this time.
I am sorry this got so long. I just need to get my thoughts out of my head a bit. In terrified that my physical health over the last 2 months is a reflection of mental health that is declining and I just don't know it yet. I am even more terrified that this is going to once again become a year-long painful odyssey. The thought of going back down that road is horrifying.
I'd really appreciate any words of encouragement, reminders that everything changes, prayers, hugs, advice... Any feedback at all, really.
He was right, of course. I had still been having frequent health concerns, but it has been years since I needed to be admitted for any reason.
Then, at the beginning of December I developed yet another kidney infection. The initial antibiotics didn't work, and the second ones did but the infection took until right before Christmas to clear. I got hit with a nasty virus that knocked me way back on Christmas eve. High fever, shaking chills, aches everywhere, sore throat, headache, and just generally sick. I took the week between Christmas and New Year's to rest and recover. It didn't work. The virus made my chest tight, and then congested, and then I developed pneumonia in my right lung that was quite extensive. So that meant lots of antibiotics, expectorant, inhalers, and a constant feeling of drowning (I've been held under water until til I've gasped in a big lung full many times as a kid, so I do know from whence I speak). Enter panic and mind-freeze.
Two weeks ago, toward the end of the week, I was actually starting to feel a bit better. Last week Sunday, that disappeared. Had a high fever, sore throat, headache, body aches, chills, muscle stiffness, stomach pain, and more. By Monday afternoon, my breathing was so bad that I had to go to the ER for treatment. While there, they found that the pneumonia was improving a little, there was fluid in my lung that was not pus, and I am concerningly anemic again. Also, my white cells have not responded appropriately to the infections I had/have. And I tested positive for Influenza A. After 8 hours, I got to go home with my Tamiflu and breathing treatments.
This past Friday, I started to feel like I was finally turning the corner back towards health. Saturday evening, on my way home from my dad's house, my right upper quadrant (abdomen) started to hurt. It slowly intensified all day Sunday. I was at my GP's office at 8 Monday morning. Pain shots, labs, CT, chest films, exam... Conclusion was it might be an issue with the kidney, or the gall bladder (both look off in the scan, but the radiologist said there's no definitive diagnosis). Was sent home to rest and told to come back Tuesday if not significantly better.
SO yesterday, it was back to the clinic. More labs. IV fluids as I was so dehydrated that my blood counts no longer reflected the anemia confirmed with Monday's labs. Ultrasound and surgical consult. Surgeon let me go home after ultrasound and said she'd call me with the results. She didn't. Last night they finally added the final radiologist report. I couldn't tell for sure during the scan if things were bad enough to be surgical. But the radiologist confirmed what I saw. There is clearly something amiss with the right kidney, but nobody can tell if it's an active issue or just physical abnormalities left over from all the previous infections. My gall bladder is full of sludge, but it doesn't appear to be infected or blocked at this time.
I am sorry this got so long. I just need to get my thoughts out of my head a bit. In terrified that my physical health over the last 2 months is a reflection of mental health that is declining and I just don't know it yet. I am even more terrified that this is going to once again become a year-long painful odyssey. The thought of going back down that road is horrifying.
I'd really appreciate any words of encouragement, reminders that everything changes, prayers, hugs, advice... Any feedback at all, really.