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Sufferer Scared, And Reaching Out.

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ReachingOutJ

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Hello:

I was recently diagnosed with C-PTSD from non-combat (non military) problems. I've been taking a low dose of Clonazepam, daily, for almost 8 months. I have guilt and shame for taking the medication, but I'm trying to work through it. I've never been on meds before, and it's sometimes scary for me. I suffered a nervous breakdown after going through multiple traumas, last year.

Right now, I sometimes tremble through my Clonazepam doses, I feel alone and scared; because my boyfriend doesn't fully understand what I am going through, and my family just tells me to "get over it." When I first went on this medication, my mother screamed at me on the phone, and called me a "drug addict," then she hung up on me. My family dynamic is toxic. I grew up in a violent home, and two of my male family members have raped me.

I have had several verbally and physically abusive relationships, and I am worn down to a stump. I go to talk therapy once a week, and I'm trying my best to get well, but it has not been easy. I am in a situation where financially I am in trouble, and both my bf and I depend on my family for a place to live. I work at home on the computer, and it is all I have; a commission job. BF is currently unemployed, and also has anger/emotional issues, from being emotionally abandoned by his family.

I recently went through an intense medical drama with sleep apnea, and it was very scary. The house I am stuck living in is contributing to my PTSD and triggering me. I am reaching out for comfort and empathy.
 
ReachingOutj, you've come to the right place. There's lots of comfort and empathy here. Elsewhere in the world, not so much, but plenty here.

There are many, many of us that don't have support from family. Sometimes I wonder if it isn't all of us. At the same time, there are many of us that were abused by family members, or at least those that should have been in our circle of trust.

My point is that you're far from alone.

Reaching out to us is a good start. My advice is to look elsewhere than to your family for support. Sounds so simple, yet is anything but simple. It's not about hate or even disliking one's family, but it is about knowledge. It's a mighty bitter pill to swallow. Many of us know that.

Welcome!
 
Welcome @ReachingOutJ
I am sad to hear that you don't have the support you need from family, you have come to the right place here where there are many of us that can support you along your journey.
As far as taking medication .... it is nothing to be ashamed of, you are taking it to make you better, and help you get through day to day!
I hope you will feel comfortable here and continue posting :)
 
@ReachingOutJ Welcome to the forum! :)

It is tough for people who do not have PTSD to even begin to comprehend its effects, and unless they are really sincere, they won't get it. That is one of the best things about this forum is the members here really do get it and it gives people a place to take of the mask and talk about the things that are really affecting them. I hope you find it helpful.
 
@ReachingOutJ Welcome. Intothelight captures what me a mess today can not write. You will find you can be open and not shunned, but meet those on this same path.
 
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