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Seeing Paitients In My Dreams...

Discussion in 'Military & Emergency Services' started by Born2fightfire, Sep 26, 2016.

  1. Born2fightfire

    Born2fightfire Member

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    I'm a firefighter and I keep getting this dream about the people I have tried to save on scene that ended up not making it. They circle me and start to attack me and I have no where to go. I wake up screaming and shaking frantically. Has anyone experienced a similar situation? Thank you in advance.
     
    Gia1019 and Abstract like this.
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  3. Kailani

    Kailani Well-Known Member

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    Have not experienced that but as a nurse have worked in some codes. You are there to help them and risk your life to do that- they should and probably would feel honored. It is written that most out of hospital cardiac arrests don't make it. They are already dead and you are trying to get them back- sometimes you just can't. I have felt a patient say goodbye who died on the next shift but that's it. Do you have someone that you can debrief with after the incident to help process and honestly look at the situation? I found prayer works wonders at bringing people back. My Heart goes out to you! You are a hero...
     
    Born2fightfire likes this.
  4. Born2fightfire

    Born2fightfire Member

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    I appreciate what you do. Its a very stressful job. I deffinetly wouldnt call myself a hero but I take it as a compliment. As you may know, the fire service is known as the "tough guys". For this reason my station Has a hard time debriefing. I can deffenitly use it as an opportunity to help change the unhealthy tough guy culture. Thank you for commenting.
     
    tlc, Eagle3 and Kailani like this.
  5. Zoogal

    Zoogal I'm a VIP

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    I'm sorry
     
    Born2fightfire likes this.
  6. laurainalameda

    laurainalameda Active Member

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    Yeah. I'm a nurse, a pediatric one. But I don't work anymore. I have dreams about washung bodies and trying to zip up the body bags. Baby and toddler bags are white. The zippers won't go up, and they open their eyes and say things like "this is your fault. You did this this and this wrong....."
     
    Born2fightfire likes this.
  7. Abstract

    Abstract I'm a VIP Premium Member

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    Much support to you Borntofightfire.
     
    Born2fightfire likes this.
  8. Born2fightfire

    Born2fightfire Member

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    I'm really sorry for your situation. I know the struggle. All we can Do sometimes is to drop to our knees and pray.
     
  9. Ka-9

    Ka-9 Active Member

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    I have dreamed about lost dogs same way....... patients make sense for a firemedic. Some homicide guys have the same.

    Nursing I've always pegged as a rough go with the amount of death you must process to simply function.
     
  10. Link

    Link New Member

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    Hi, Im new here, just found this forum by chance. I worked in Pyschiatric and have extremely great long term memory having being able to remember every single detail about patients from 6 years ago, I wasnt trained to deal with the level i had to deal with and witnessed and heard alot of things i shouldnt have during my time there, I have the same issue with my dreams and flashbacks during the night. Going to sleep is hard and takes a long time for me and when i do its continually broken but when i do get that 20-30min crack of continual sleep its filled with these flashbacks which feel like they go on for hours.

    I relive physical moments where i even wake in random places in or out of the house, take downs or attacks. lately they have been more intense and seem to be improvising with "what if" moments with dream mixing with past reality, so vivid and realistic that when i wake it takes a few minutes sometimes up to half hour to differentiate between fact or fiction and know where i am.

    Once a patient attempted to stab another staff member and i intervened and disarmed them, this moment i have relived in my dreams and once woke with a knife in my hand in the kitchen, other times ive dreamed that i was opening the secure doors to let people in or out and have woke the next morning to discover i had opened up all the doors in the house and left it wide open all night.

    4 years since i have left that facility and still cant shake them, your not alone Born2fightfire just hope that at some stage we all can move past this and be free of our nocturnal slumber demons !
     
  11. laurainalameda

    laurainalameda Active Member

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    I stopped believing in god shortly after becoming a nurse. Too much f*cking evil. Can't really think about it enough to detail, but cops and firefighters who've worked arson or neglect scenes. Or do paramedic as well and emts and doctors....you know the kind of evil I talk of.
     
  12. LilMick

    LilMick New Member

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    I have dealt with this (medic in US and several warzones). It's probably my symptom and the one that's kept going consistently even after treatment. I've been told by counselors and friends that isn't my fault, but it's hard to get my mind and my heart to believe that. I usually do a safety check when I wake up from those--where I am, that I'm safe, that is isn't going on at the moment... I hope that helps!
     
  13. leehalf

    leehalf Well-Known Member

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    We just discussed this a little bit last night. My veterans memory is getting pretty bad nowadays and he said " I can't remember shit unless I'm sleeping then I can remember every detail". He relives many situations in his sleep. But one comes to him almost every night. He can smell the sulfur, taste the blood, hear the screams and feel the sand. And all the therapy, talking, walks, prayers, exercise, meds, tears, rage, and guilt don't help. Sad indeed!

    Prayers to all of you and hoping you have "sweet dreams"! ✌ &❤
     
    LilMick likes this.
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