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General Serving in the military...regrets or not

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@grimalkin I question why someone feels the need to lie about their past since a person who loves you does not judge you on your past. We all have one and I believe their past is what brought them to me? So it's a good thing.
I have noticed that me and my ex-vet seem to recall things differently too. I keep a journal so I have documented many many details of what was shared. I have Lyme so my memory s*cks and he says...It's YOUR journal to justify. I call a stalemate on most things since they are not life changing. I pick my battles although we've never fought or disrespected each other.
The triggers and misunderstandings scare me since I've yet to encounter either but am a bit cautious about how I word my questions or verifications about the stories he generously shares with me. Would you mind sharing a trigger?
The only thing, which did tear us apart, was him learning that I realized PTSD was the cause of his symptoms. With sincerity he thanked me and moved away from me overnight...but still continues very close contact and trust? I am thankful for this but will not walk on eggshells around my perspectives and how I see things happening. He asked me to boldly point these things out so he realizes what he is doing to hurt me.
I am very sorry about you break-up but maybe when he learns to deal he'll return to the person who cares about him the most?
But, I do know he definitely does not regret his service, and actually has encouraged his sons to join up as well.
This is a very strong statement and so opposite from another one from @Dr.Knowbuddy . I wonder why the extreme views?
 
@Dr.Knowbuddy This is the simple answer I was actually looking for. If today's youth were schooled about the suffering brought back from serving, would most of them still be eager to serve in the forces? Thanks for your honesty.

No problem. It depends on what MOS they go into. If you go for the challenge of combat and are on the front lines I don't think the good out weighs the bad. Come back and you're looking at manual labor jobs after all that shit you just endured. But everyone's experiences vary. If they could understand the suffering afterward they wouldn't willingly subject themselves to it. But they're prime pickings for their naivety and willingness to "become a real man." Or whatever other recruitment line that works.
 
Ditto to everything @Sweetpea76 said about her vet. To the things she mentioned he may actually regret, I would add regret living through combat when others (especially those with families or small children) did not. I do not think my vet will ever regret his service, no matter what he says. And even if he ever did, I don't think he would ever admit it. I also had a problem with my vet lying a lot in the beginning -- especially over little things that seemed insignificant to me. It has gotten a lot better with time.
 
@Dr.Knowbuddy...

I was going to say the same thing. It depends what day it is.

J is extremely proud of his military career. He excelled in all of his training. Figured if he was going to do it he would do it to the best of his ability.

He talks to me ALOT about his service. He loved it. And he was good at it. He's highly decorated and I couldn't be more proud of him.

Most days there are no regrets. But some days when he is in a bad place with his PTSD he gets so mad that he signed up for this. He even reenlisted after 9/11. And after his service did "private security" for an oil company. And THAT is what opened his eyes.

He comes from a military family. Dad is a VN veteran and his uncle is M.I.A. His grandfather fought for the empire of Japan during WW2. (his mom is Japanese and dad is German, go figure).

He was determined to be a Ranger. Just didn't realize we would be at war for 25+ years.

It's a love / hate relationship.
 
I'm not sure what you mean by this?

I definitely can understand the love/hate relationship
...[/QUOTE]
He did private security for an oil company which was basically just a hired gun. He drove millionaires from green zone to green zone.

It woke him up to the harsh reality of what the war(s) are about. OIL. He lost alot of brothers fighting these wars all while these fu*#ers got richer off the blood of our troops.
 
hmmmm. What do I think about my choice to enlist???

Worst mistake I ever made...most fun I've ever had...too many horrific events I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy.... So many great memories I wouldn't have wanted to miss.. So many opportunities to almost die....so many opportunities to live a life full of adventure.... So much pain. So much joy So many funny stories to share with family and friends. So many stories I can only tell to those who've been there

Yea that about sums it up. Would I do it again? Would I suggest it for others? I really don't know
 
My vet actively recommends the Army to his son and his nephew, as well as to other young men. He was in for 25 years. He had a number of deployments and saw combat for extended periods of time. He has said many times "My problem is not that I deployed too many times, my problem is that I came home one too many times."

He is assessed by DVA as Totally and Permanently Disabled due to his PTSD. He suffers nightmares, flashbacks, dissociation, episodes of rage, tinnitus, insomnia, arthritis due to damaged joints, irritability, lack of concentration, etc. Still recommends the Army, and in particular infantry corp) as the best career a man can have.

(Yes - I'm aware that women serve too but he's a crusty old infantry WO2...)
 
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