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Setting Boundaries And Making Healthy Choices Pt. 2

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Despite of all the nervous energy I had about all holidays lately, things seems to have gone fairly well. I handled things better, and I was pleased to discover that on some events I was a lot less- anxious that a year ago. Yay-me! :) I always come around to ask tips on issues I'm having and there have been LOTS this year. So I thought I should share something happy, for a change:).
Changes and choice I made this season that I'm proud of:
1. Telling a friend I have to skip joining a celebration party to which she invited me, because even though I'm less anxious I still can't go to every single event without being anxious.
It was important to me to be there for her, but I figured it doesn't really count as being there if I go, and get all paniced and quiet and dissociate. I made a choice of what's good for my health, and I stand by that. Thankfully she's a good friend and she knows about my trouble so she was okay with it.

2. Instead of panicing about lack of money, I asked a client of mine if she can pay me early for the work I had done to that point, and she was happy to do it. It wasn't a lot, but it was just enough to make a difference. Money are a trigger thing for me, so this makes me particularly proud.

3. I'm visiting my parents soon, and I usually try to fit too much in those trips- seeing family and friends and dealing with documents, and shopping- since I go there once every few months and it's 7h trip. But this time I chose to see my parents and only closest friends and limit my other tasks to necessities, so I don't get all overwhelmed. I am just starting to get a bit less anxious, I don't need to get all wound up again. It's sad I won't get to see all friends and do all things, but the city will still be there few months from now, when hopefully I'll be even better. So I keep telling myself this and affirming it- and I officially let my friend know as well- I just can't see all people on this trip, or even more than the bare minimum. It's just not good for me to get overwhelmed too much. I need to keep my social contact to things that I know will recharge me and be good for me...and that's healthy. It's hard, but it's healthy. I'm very happy to finally be able to make some choices like that.

That's all for now...just thought I should share something nice. :)
 
This is so awesome! Setting boundaries, being aware of and honoring your needs, leaning into fear - these are all HUGE steps! Way to go! Very inspiring!!! :)
 
What a great story about setting boundaries and empowering yourself. I just went thru a similar thing about setting my boundaries and my significant others' setting her boundaries properly several months ago with external entity that was causing nothing but trouble. It was a bit tough to go thru as not only had I had to make it clear what boundaries were acceptable to me and which were not and doing so made things so much better. The boundary crossing was causing triggers to fire off quite a bit and it has gotten sooo much better.. but its a work in progress.
 
What a great story about setting boundaries and empowering yourself. I just went thru a similar thing abo...
Yes, actually in the last months I've had to establish even more boundaries- some with friends and some with family. I noticed now I am starting to see when my boundaries are getting crossed, while before therapy I would notice it only waaay after the fact when the damage was done. Also I've learned that I am letting myself cross my own boundaries way too much, in a way hurting myself. And telling myself that's okay. If it was anyone else I would worry about their health etc. but for me I just let it be...over and over...I only recently started realizing it and trying to actually take care of myself. Literally, not for anyone else, not for show, but just because I matter.
But setting boundaries is hard. It is a process. It's establishing that your well-being and limits matter, and if you have been through abuse sometimes that is a hard thing to realize. Totally worth it though.
 
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