Pixielicious
MyPTSD Pro
I was diagnosed with severe PTSD over a yr ago.
I was in two violent relationships, one after the other in a span of 5yrs.
The Dr had prescribed, 30mg mirtazipine, 4x30mg codeine and 40mg propanalol.
5 months ago I went cold turkey and stopped all my medication without telling my dr. I haven't seen a dr since then. The tablets made me fat, manic and suicidal.
But now I'm not coping. I hide away in my home, scared of people, unable to even go out and pay my bills. I only go to the shop when my cupboards are empty, not that I hardly eat anyway. I'm terrified of my flashbacks, and avoid everything just in case I get 'triggered'
My life is a living nightmare and I feel trapped inside my mind and body. I cannot plan anything. Not even a trip to the stores. Because I'm so scared and embarrassed of having a flashback.
I joined this site, hoping that there is at least one other human in this world that is going through the same or similar thing.
I feel so lonely, I don't have family or friends for support.
I can't even remember when was the last time I actually talked to.... Just anyone, because I stay indoors all the time.
Am I looking for a friend/s?
I guess I am.....I Just want one other human to tell me that I'm not the only one suffering like this. Just one. Am crying now feeling like the outcast of society, unable to socialise, unable to have any kind of relationship without scaring them off. My flashbacks and nightmares are horrific....And My reaction to them is even worse....Suicidal Thoughts come and go...the numbing, the anger, the inability to just 'snap' out of PTSD makes me feel that I am trapped inside myself. I don't know who I am anymore. I really don't.
I was in two violent relationships, one after the other in a span of 5yrs.
The Dr had prescribed, 30mg mirtazipine, 4x30mg codeine and 40mg propanalol.
5 months ago I went cold turkey and stopped all my medication without telling my dr. I haven't seen a dr since then. The tablets made me fat, manic and suicidal.
But now I'm not coping. I hide away in my home, scared of people, unable to even go out and pay my bills. I only go to the shop when my cupboards are empty, not that I hardly eat anyway. I'm terrified of my flashbacks, and avoid everything just in case I get 'triggered'
My life is a living nightmare and I feel trapped inside my mind and body. I cannot plan anything. Not even a trip to the stores. Because I'm so scared and embarrassed of having a flashback.
I joined this site, hoping that there is at least one other human in this world that is going through the same or similar thing.
I feel so lonely, I don't have family or friends for support.
I can't even remember when was the last time I actually talked to.... Just anyone, because I stay indoors all the time.
Am I looking for a friend/s?
I guess I am.....I Just want one other human to tell me that I'm not the only one suffering like this. Just one. Am crying now feeling like the outcast of society, unable to socialise, unable to have any kind of relationship without scaring them off. My flashbacks and nightmares are horrific....And My reaction to them is even worse....Suicidal Thoughts come and go...the numbing, the anger, the inability to just 'snap' out of PTSD makes me feel that I am trapped inside myself. I don't know who I am anymore. I really don't.
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