StrongHeart
Confident
I'm glad I found this forum last night because it is answering so many questions for me about my guy's behavior. He's a combat veteran but I've known him most of my life. We only started a long distance relationship about 18 months ago, though we've maintained a friendship since we were kids. We see each other maybe once a month, but we talk daily - usually. I feel like I know him. But - he is definitely a different person from the one he was before the military. He has shared so much with me over these months, so many things he has seen that have scarred him deeply. I treasure those moments of trust he has given me, and being there for him has been very meaningful for both of us. I pushed him to start therapy, and he found a wonderful therapist that has helped him a great deal. We have so much in common, when we are together we are so happy, BUT there are all kinds of complications here. A few days ago we had an argument after he had a stressful situation, and he shut down. I didn't handle things well, and now I understand the cup overflowing analogy. In a normal relationship, it would have been a small bump in the road and solved immediately. For him, it put him over the edge, and I haven't heard from him since then, though I've texted and called. His phone is off and he's not returning anything. He's in isolation.
We were supposed to get together for the first time in a month tonight. I'm hurt, angry, saddened, and missing my guy, though I've only sent him supportive or light texts and messages. I want to be with him so badly, and the times that he's been "tripping" (what I call a ptsd episode) and we've gotten together, he's always said it helps him greatly. What do I do? My friends say to let him go, move on, find someone else because he takes too much of my energy, and causes too much pain with his withdrawals.
As I read many of the messages here and I see what the carers go through, I wonder if this is indeed worth it. We were so happy to find each other in a romantic way after having been close as friends, and this has been one of the greatest things that has happened to both of us. We have talked openly about ptsd and our relationship, and he is a wonderful communicator, except when he's just....gone. That makes it all the harder. I just don't know what to do, and I'm frustrated because he's not responding to me. This has happened before, and the silence was always broken by me contacting him. He has told me that he gets so deep into himself that he can't reach out, and then he feels so ashamed because he has ignored me. He knows how this hurts me, and that hurts him as well. I understand all of that. I just want to see my friend/lover tonight!
We were supposed to get together for the first time in a month tonight. I'm hurt, angry, saddened, and missing my guy, though I've only sent him supportive or light texts and messages. I want to be with him so badly, and the times that he's been "tripping" (what I call a ptsd episode) and we've gotten together, he's always said it helps him greatly. What do I do? My friends say to let him go, move on, find someone else because he takes too much of my energy, and causes too much pain with his withdrawals.
As I read many of the messages here and I see what the carers go through, I wonder if this is indeed worth it. We were so happy to find each other in a romantic way after having been close as friends, and this has been one of the greatest things that has happened to both of us. We have talked openly about ptsd and our relationship, and he is a wonderful communicator, except when he's just....gone. That makes it all the harder. I just don't know what to do, and I'm frustrated because he's not responding to me. This has happened before, and the silence was always broken by me contacting him. He has told me that he gets so deep into himself that he can't reach out, and then he feels so ashamed because he has ignored me. He knows how this hurts me, and that hurts him as well. I understand all of that. I just want to see my friend/lover tonight!