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Should i reschedule and forgive?

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Dootdoot

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Hello everyone,
(If you want to get right to the point and skip the blah, blah. Scroll 2 next paragraph.)
I have been seeing a psychotherapist since March of this year. It started off great but the last few visits have been awkward and lots of silent moments. Last visit I could tell she was frustrated that i started drinking again,SH and going back to my old behaviors of coping. She wanted to know why I wasnt using the "good" ways of coping we worked on. Which I explained about wanting the fast easy fix at the time (depression for a lot of people is worse around holidays anyway.) She ended the session 10min early and didn't say cya next time like the "norm" or anything for that matter.

Next appointment she cancelled an hour before it's supposed to happen...I am her last appt. So i convinced myself she needed off early for her kid or whatnot. We are on a rotating schedule every Tues. but when i called to check on the appt monday, her secretary said she is off for the holiday this week and called everyone on her schedule but for some reason I wasn't on tues at 4pm like usual. So I am mad she didnt have the courtesy to explain she would be off a week and wondering if she forgot to reschedule me? Or if I should take it as a sign?

Thanks all! Happy Holidays : )
 
Sorry! I would reach out as soon as the holiday is over to clarify. I would feel unsure as well. Please know that there are tons of people who have set backs over the holiday so try and set the shame aside. It's tough but if you hold on to the shame of drinking it will likely push you over the edge to drink more. Hang in there!
 
Hi @Dootdoot... I agree It was just probably a misunderstanding.. These things happen....

As for her not being happy about you going back to your old coping mechanisms.. Thats OK too.. And your theparist knows people fall back on old ways.. But in time adopt newer ways.... Patience.... I'm like you I want everything to be fixed now.... But it doesn't work that way...Don't read to much into it..
 
Hello everyone,
(If you want to get right to the point and skip the blah, blah. Scroll 2 next paragrap...
I am so with you, I would be reading into it as well! I’m really surprised she canceled 10 min early. Why was that? And canceling an HOUR before your next session? That’s really rude. I would see if there was some emergency or if she is having some counter transference because that’s what it sounds like to me. Also, how could you tell she was disappointed? Was that an assumption? My old t would NEVER act disappointed in any way. She would maybe inquire and ask how I felt about it but she would never let her own opinions on my behavior into that room. I dunno... If you’ve been working well together I’d maybe ask what’s going on and get some answers before you maybe decide to move on.
 
So I am mad she didnt have the courtesy to explain she would be off a week and wondering if she forgot to reschedule me? Or if I should take it as a sign?
Nope. Stop trying to read her mind - and expecting her to read yours.

Instead, reschedule and and go in and tell her what is bothering you and talk it through.

And don’t just stop there, take it a step deeper and work on why you are resisting therapy. You have grounds to be annoyed about multiple scheduling issues - but it’s not reasonable to super focus on her mistakes while ignoring how much you are pulling away from the work.
She wanted to know why I wasnt using the "good" ways of coping we worked on. Which I explained about wanting the fast easy fix at the time (depression for a lot of people is worse around holidays anyway.)
If the “fast easy fix” worked, then why are you going?

Remember the reasons that brought you there and keep those in mind as you navigate this.
 
Nope. Stop trying to read her mind - and expecting her to read yours.

Instead, reschedule and and...

Thank you. You are right about the focusing so much on her mistakes. I didn't realize how much I was doing that until I stopped to think about it, which makes me laugh cause it's really just another form of me resisting more by putting her at fault.
I'm still pondering the whole reason I started thing...bc I went in to help get over the death of someone I was very close to, so i didnt really go in to fix all the other ptsd, SH, drinking etc. that came up lol I might need a break till im really ready to work on those.
 
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