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Situational Depression Or Ptsd Depression

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7Cs

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I posted last month about my 7 year old sons recent diagnosis of autoimmune (type 1) diabetes. It has been extremely stressful and heart breaking. Our lives have changed drastically and nearly all day is spent balancing a delicate tightrope of blood sugars and carb/ food intake, multiple shots and nearly a dozen finger pokes to get blood to check his blood sugar levels.

At 1st I went back and forth between extreme sadness and a sort of numbness/ survival mode. I got on anti-anxiety medication and it helped immensely. Sadness was less and we got in a routine and I felt like I was reaching acceptance.

At the same time I've been working in therapy and went a few weeks without ptsd symptoms as I dealy with the current crisis. Then my symptoms started acting up with dissociation and mood liability/ parts. Recently my mind frequently goes to almost suicidal ideation where thoughts of ways to die pop into my head as well as the inner voice "I want to die" and that I'm so stupid (this is not new and has been a long time symptom of ptsd for me). But I don't want to die and I'm very intelligent. I try to stop them but can't. They've continued to get worse and I am so tired, hungry and unmotivated to to anything productive or that makes me happy except for reading which is one of my escapes from reality.

I don't know if this depression is my ptsd exacerbated by trauma therapy (we've been going really slowly but my "parts" have been triggered with certain topics) or if it situational because of his dx or both combined together.

Therapy is next week but I hate working on current "stuff" because I've wasted years putting out those fires as a way to avoid working on the bigger issues. T has agreed that we should stick to the issues that brought me to therapy but we touch on current things at the beginning of each session.

I guess I'm wondering how to differentiate the two and how to keep them balanced and separate.
 
I don't if this will help... but to me the depression that has been my life long companion, feels different than 'here and now' depression.
The old depression, is the one saying to die, that I am stupid, ect. The here and now depression is truly caused by something happening now.... the DX for your son is very serious and takes a lot out of both of you to keep him healthy...It is very serious and a life changer or both of you.... so with the stress and anxiety of having to learn all that is needed to help your son, and trying not to freak out and be present for his fears and changes, puts too much on us at one time... so they are sort of like mixed together like a really ugly 'feelings salad'.....
I would exhaust myself trying to keep them separate and why did I think they had to be maintained differently... I don't know... PTSD brain? That can complicate the simple things, much less a major life changer....I had to deal with how ever the depression presented...the destructive self talk=old, the insecurity of not getting things right with your sons issue=new.
Any mom faced with this is going to be stressed and depressed... I would be. The added pressure of knowing you have to get things right to keep your son healthy is a normal stressor...saying you are a bad and stupid mom causes so much conflict...

Try to just deal with what ever is present... just like you so bravely were able to relabel your thoughts... a lot of self care is going to be needed to be present for your son... I feel you already know the distinction... and if it gets tangled... come here and share... sometimes just writing it out helps us to see more clearly..

This is a serious here and now stressor... you are not avoiding dealing with issues from your past by trying to get support for how this has changed your life...the other stuff will still be there.... you need here and now support....

Sorry for your son to have this very dangerous DX, but very happy to know he has a mom that is on top of things and wanting to do her best to keep some kind of balance.. let up on yourself some... there is a lot to learn and maintain... some of this pressure is going to kick old feelings into high gear... but you can stop and breathe.... you can stop and rest. You can and are being a great mom under very hard and life changing circumstances.... sometimes when the intrusive thoughts start .... tell them to hush and put in place all the new things you are learing and managing..

You are doing great... might not feel like it.. but you are... you asked for help... you need some clarity that it's ok to be freaking out to a degree..... you and your sons life has changed forever.... that is powerful and not to be minimized....

There has to be support groups for parents of childhood diabetes... join one... see that you are not alone in feeling the tremendous responsibility to get things right....

You are doing great.... once again your life has changed without your permission... it's normal to feel depressed about all this... past and present... be good to you... don't forget about you....

Gentle hugs if you accept for a mom being a good mom....!!!!!!
 
My vote is depression. My personal issue about "situational" would be that it's not you... you're not 7 years old and type 1... you're borrowing that to drive your own "already in progress" depression. My friends Lisa and Jolene have youths as young as yours that are type 1's. What or how would you describe your upset about this? A child can be taught this, and it can be modeled how to be responsible about it, even doing their own finger sticks and taking their own medicine. So far as chronic conditions go it is one of the best documented.

This isn't so much a "crisis" as it is a change of circumstance. The blessing is that your child was diagnosed young... young enough to be able to adapt to learning how to and moderating their lifelong condition.

How to balance depression (situational or PTSD)??? It doesn't really matter if both your feet are in the same or different holes. What can you do to consider neutral or more beneficial outcomes for your child rather than what you've relayed here?
 
I don't want to sound flippant, it honestly I don't think it matters if it's situational or PTSD depression when someone has PTSD. Anything can send us into a world of shit and depression can bite you in the ass. The treatment is the same. Exercise, therapy, meds if you already take them, and a support system.

You are dealing with something that isn't pleasant and is life changing. But, it's also something that can be managed. You seem like you're right on top of things, so pretty soon, I think things will level out and all of this will just be part of his new life and you will be there to make sure he is doing what he needs to do to take care of himself.

Try and find some "Me time" for yourself. A little guilty pleasure time so you can try to decompress for this.....
 
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