1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

The Daily Dose

Get the last 24hrs of new topics delivered to your inbox.

Click Here to Subscribe

Somalia Spouse - He Did The PTSD Course, But Not Using The Information

Discussion in 'Supporter Discussion' started by somaliaspouse, Jan 16, 2007.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. somaliaspouse

    somaliaspouse Member

    33
    0
    0
    well it has been quite a while since i was on here. and as the same as the first- things not going real well. he has done the ptsd course here and is not using any of the tools which he has been given to help him through each day. i no longer have the strength in me to keep helping him. and am not sure we are supposed to go from here - he has already taken over 90% of me (ie have given everything) i cant let him take the rest - he says that is selfish but it is something which i have to do to keep my own sanity
     
  2. Register to participate in live chat, PTSD discussion and more.
  3. Jen

    Jen Well-Known Member

    752
    17
    0
    Hi Kim Jen here ( Bucks Jen)
    Sorry to hear that things arent much better for you. We are not much better either I wish the course went for 12 months maybe that would have been better. Anyway I keep myself busy we seem to have good days and bad days.
    Make yourself at home on this forum you can yell and scream as much as you like it helps doing this. And just because I know you dont worry everything I read and write on this forum is in confidence.
    Take care Jen
     
  4. somaliaspouse

    somaliaspouse Member

    33
    0
    0
    hey jen
    it is so good to have someone i know on here

    things are not good for us here at the moment, got home from work to find he wants a divorce - woah - he wants me to take responsibilty for all the shit we going through , would be nice if he took some responsibility for some as well

    in the last week i have run into connie and alana - boy have they been a good shoulder to cry on
     
  5. Jen

    Jen Well-Known Member

    752
    17
    0
    Hi Kim sorry that you are getting a hard time at the moment hope things get better soon for you.
    Jen
     
  6. wildcritter44

    wildcritter44 Active Member

    222
    15
    0
    som spouse,

    Sorry to hear yr hubby's asking for a divorce, as if that will solve "his" problem. the PTSD will go with him where ever he goes. Divorce generally is not an easy road especially when kids are involved.
    Hope things start going better for u.

    Take Care & best of luck..

    D (wildcritter)
     
  7. somaliaspouse

    somaliaspouse Member

    33
    0
    0
    From Anthony: I have edited this post, and moved its contents to its rightful owner below, being Paul, Somaliaspouses husband.
     
  8. becvan

    becvan Queen of the Blunt! Premium Member

    3,807
    883
    4,653
    Hi Paul. I'm becvan. I'm a sufferer. Would you consider joining the board as a sufferer under your own user name? It would help with the confusion as to who is posting and many of us can relate and deal with issues in the appropriate section. (I really do not want to comment here..) I'm glad you came on and it's nice to have.. please consider joining us sufferers..

    bec
     
  9. anthony

    anthony Renovation Aficionado Founder

    32,972
    46,400
    57,850
    I think its good to see both sides of the story actually, and things certainly change the perspective of conversation. SS, you have not mentioned any of this to anyone here, instead made us believe you are the victim, and I am a PTSD sufferer and my wife Kerrie also posts on here, nothing off ours directly contravening the others personality or actions. We both admit we do some screwy things, we both admit to our issues and are honest, hence why you do not see such indifferences between posts about the other. If kerrie says something here, I will generally admit it, because its true. If I say something, Kerrie will generally admit it, because its true. Whilst we may have our issues which get discussed in private, we are honest enough to ensure the full story gets added here, either by her or myself, or the other ensuring any missing information is added to present a balanced and fair statement.

    Paul, hi and welcome to the forum. Paul, whilst I will leave that post above as it provides your side of the issues here, as bec said above, please register with your own username, and we can then change that post above into your username. I would love to chat more with you though Paul...
     
  10. paul

    paul Member

    29
    1
    0
    hello this is paul somalia spouses husband, the reason i asked for a divorse is more complexed than what my wife has said.
    at the start of last year i was introduced to a car forum, not long after we got to know a few people on there, one of the people we met runs the site.
    not long after i met a bloke and we became good friends, not long after my wife and him begane talking on msn.
    i had to go to nsw because my mum was admitted to hospital, while i was gone my wife continued to talk to him and he was going to be coming to our town.
    my wife told me on the phone that she liked me not being home and she might have feelings towards my mate.
    she said that ptsd had taken its toll on her and im not surprised.
    i came home un expectedly so that she wouldnt be home by herself with him, but that didnt stop her, that night we made love and the next morning i found her talking to my mate down stairs(nothing wrong there) then she started talking to another man and became close to him.
    (with most ptsd we dont show much feeling)any way she told me that they wanted to be together and i brock down.
    i told her i didnt want her talking to him but i had to threaten her with separation for her to do so.
    i still moved out and to nsw.
    i missed my wife and kids terribly so i came back after a month, the day i got back i found an email to a friend of hers telling her how when i was asleep and she was talking to my mate she tried to hold his hand and she said she felt his bum aswell.
    i was very upset to read this and fronted her with what i knew.
    i was suppose to not worry about it.
    after we broke up and i got a flat i found a bloke watching tv with my wife, no big deal then my son said that he heard me leave that morning and i had to tell him i was already at home, i asked my wife if this man had stayed and she said no.
    we sort of got back together but i feel that i get told what she wants me to know so when she went to cairns the other weekend she stayed at a friends house, they all sleeped in the same room my wife on the bed and the three boys on the floor.now im not suppose to get upset about that but find me another bloke that wouldnt be upset with his wife sleeping in the same room as three males and ill walk to sydney naked.
    then one of her friends is moving to our town and my wife has told her she can stay at our house till she finds something permanent.
    ive only met this girl once and she seems ok but its the fact that my wife told her she could stay without talking to me first. that is why i have asked for a divorce as im sick of being treated like some kid that is happy with whats put in front of him, i may be sick with ptsd but i still like to be treated like a normal person and if im treated like that then i might beable to act like one a bit easier.
     
  11. becvan

    becvan Queen of the Blunt! Premium Member

    3,807
    883
    4,653
    Great to have you here Paul! Have a look about and request to join the PTSD Affected section (just click on the link for it and follow what it says.. lol that had me lost the first time around.) I look forward to chatting with you.

    bec
     
  12. anthony

    anthony Renovation Aficionado Founder

    32,972
    46,400
    57,850
    Did a simple edit, moved the information and made note in original post.
     
  13. becvan

    becvan Queen of the Blunt! Premium Member

    3,807
    883
    4,653
    SS: i realize this may be a bit embarrassing but it's good to see the whole picture. that way true healing can happen.

    The responsiblity is on both sides. not just his and not just yours. he has ptsd and you have some .. ummm ... issues (not being rude here.. but the word i wanted just poofed right out of my head.) He has healing to do and so do you.. the sad thing is that this situation has added a lot of greif and pain to both sides.

    I do agree with Paul that just because he has PTSD does not mean he doesn't have a right to be treated fairly or like an adult or with some respect for that matter. PTSD is not the be all end all excuse to sponge off responsiblity nor is it an excuse for your behaviours or actions. Two way street right?

    I think this is a great BEGINNING to start really talking and healing, whether seperate or alone for both of you.

    bec

    *i want to add for the benefit of the other spouses: this situation is the type that gets our gander up about responsiblity.. many of you have noticed by now that we are very touchy about this issue.. and this type of situation is why. when ptsd is used as an excuse for ALL the relationship issues when there are other underlying issues, we tend to get pissy (and no we don't tend to deal with it well when not healed either.. i am the first to admit to that one) so this is a balancing act for all parties involved...*
     
Loading...
Similar Threads - Somalia Spouse Did
  1. CvaLife
    Replies:
    6
    Views:
    352
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
Show Sidebar