I used to say 'Sorry' for everything. I could plug that word into a single sentence at least 400 times. I think the core of the word for me was 'Sorry for my Existence'. It went deep. The thing is, I have a friend who does the same thing and it was a great way of understanding what Sorry felt like on the receiving end. I was sad that they felt I was putting them in a position that they had to be 'sorry' to me. Of course, as time went on I realized that when they said it, it wasn't about me, that sorry was about them.
So the two of us worked on it. We did a blanket 'Sorry' at the beginning and determined that we would use different words. Things like 'I Apologize', and 'I Wish I Hadn't Done That' or 'I Wish That Hadn't Happened to You'. It made us both stop and think about what we were saying Sorry for. We realized that it was harder to throw in one of those statements as 'Sorry' just seemed to be a 'filler' and very unhealthy word. Neither of us say Sorry much anymore and that has filtered to my life around other people as well.
I used to wonder why Narcs had me pegged. I think 'Sorry' was like a neon sign on my forehead to them. Ah...they would think to themselves....A clear cut raging target. Nothing a narc likes to hear better than 'I'm Sorry'. It gives them their 'supply' of 'I can do no wrong', imho
Any thoughts? Do you say 'Sorry' a lot? Do you think it stems from family and/or developmental abuse?
So the two of us worked on it. We did a blanket 'Sorry' at the beginning and determined that we would use different words. Things like 'I Apologize', and 'I Wish I Hadn't Done That' or 'I Wish That Hadn't Happened to You'. It made us both stop and think about what we were saying Sorry for. We realized that it was harder to throw in one of those statements as 'Sorry' just seemed to be a 'filler' and very unhealthy word. Neither of us say Sorry much anymore and that has filtered to my life around other people as well.
I used to wonder why Narcs had me pegged. I think 'Sorry' was like a neon sign on my forehead to them. Ah...they would think to themselves....A clear cut raging target. Nothing a narc likes to hear better than 'I'm Sorry'. It gives them their 'supply' of 'I can do no wrong', imho
Any thoughts? Do you say 'Sorry' a lot? Do you think it stems from family and/or developmental abuse?
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